Youth Baseball: Tryouts - Tips For Coaches, Clubs and Players (Part 4)

This is a great rejection letter from the one team that my son did not make. The letter is well written and shows a lot of class. 

Nic,

Thank you for coming to our try-out this past weekend.  I was impressed with your play as were the rest of the coaches.  We did, however, select three other players to join the team.  Nic, you were absolutely in the top echelon of players who attended Sunday. There is no question that you are a strong player and should play in the National League. I would be interested in seeing you try out next year when your arm is healthy. Your glove work was strong as was your hitting.  I would recommend that you take car of that arm and continue attending try-outs.  Good luck in you future endeavors.

The Main Point


Did this coach write this personal email to keep Nic interested for future years? Did this coach write this email to demonstrate the high class of the organization? Does this coach just care enough about kids to build their self-esteem? I do not know, but I was impressed that this coach took the time to write such a thoughtful letter. I respect this coach and the organization more because of it.

Youth Golf: Son Pushes Father to Improve Game

I have spent lots of time and money getting my kids lessons for the sports over the years. During this time, I have spent little time or money on myself. I have been a member of the same country club for 11 years and my high golf handicap has not moved much during that time. How could it when I spend so much time catering to my kids?

My son started out the year shooting around 120 on our home course which is very difficult. He was delighted when he broke 60 on a nine. I bought him new clubs and one lesson and all of the sudden he was breaking 50 with regularity. During the last two weeks, he shot 90 on the course two times. I have only broken 90 on the course two times in the 11 years I have played it. Pathetic I know, but I do not play with any regularity.

Several weeks ago, my son beat me, and has been beating me consistently ever since. I decided to take lessons. I found an excellent PGA teaching pro who was willing to coach me at 7am in the morning before work. This is the only time of the day that I could commit to that did not interfere with work or my kid's schedules.

I struggled for the first couple of weeks, but yesterday I broke 90 and beat my son by 6 strokes. My son was rooting for me.

The Main Point

Was I taking the lessons for me or was I taking the lessons for my son so that I can give him competition? I have always wanted to play golf better, but I did not have the motivation to improve until my son pushed me.

A few years ago, my son and I were playing in a father son tournament. He was doing pretty good for an 8 year old and I was playing my usual mediocre golf. We were matched up against a former PGA pro who was a 2 handicap golfer and his 12 year old son. My son was better than the 12 year old, but I could not compare.  After the match which we lost by a wide margin, my son said, "Dad, I would like to win this tournament one year." I told him, "Nic, you are going to have to get a better Dad"

So I am going to improve for him.

Youth Baseball: Tryouts - Tips For Coaches, Clubs and Players (Part 3)

This summer, my son participated in three select baseball tryouts for the 2011 season. This post highlights what coaches should do and what they should not to do based on our experience.

Prior to tryouts

• What to do: Coaches should make themselves available to talk prior to the tryouts via phone or email. This allowed me to gather the information we needed to make decisions on which opportunities to pursue. I got a good feel for the demeanor of the coach through these conversations. And the coach got a good idea of the potential and fit of the player.
• What not to do: A few coaches did not return emails requesting information. We did not go to these tryouts.
• What to do: Advertise your tryout schedule on the league website, team website, local newspapers and word of mouth. 
• What to do: Schedule three or four tryouts dates. The team we eventually selected had four. After the first one, they invited back a select few to join new players who missed the first tryout date. Perhaps a coach can determine the skill level of a player after one tryout, but can they determine the level of  commitment, leadership or passion of a player after one tryout? I doubt it.
• What not to do: A team my son tried out for only had one tryout date. Due to a conflict we were 30 minutes late. Summertime is hectic with lots of conflicts, a team can miss out on some really good talent by having a limited number of tryout dates. 
• What to do: Allow a player to have a private tryout.
• What to do: Allow for pre-registration via email or website.
• What to do: Ask players to wear a numbered jersey so the coach can easily identify players during the tryout.

During Tryouts

• What to do: Have a volunteer at the registration table to quickly process potential players. 
• What not to do: Have the coach do the registration. This leads to delays of the tryout.
• What to do: Have an evaluation spreadsheet on a clip board to capture information about each player.
• What to do: Have all the potential players properly warm up their arms. 
• What not to do: Allow potential players to throw full speed without warming up. I was at one tryout where each kid threw 15+ long throws from the outfield without a proper warmup period. Players want to impress and throw extra hard, make sure all the players are properly warmed up.
• What to do: Evaluate all the potential players at every position. A prior coach may not have seen the potential in a player at a certain position. 
• What not to do: Assume a player cannot play a certain position based on appearance. 
• What to do: Give the kids enough pitches to get their timing down during batting practice. Evaluate the potential player's ability to hit pitches of varying locations and speeds.
• What not to do: Evaluate a players ability to hit based on a limited number of pitches. During one tryout, my son got two rotations of three pitches. He saw a total of six fastball pitches. I am not sure how you can evaluate the true potential of a player on six pitches. 
• What to do: Make the players you want feel welcome. One team was very interested in my son. I am not sure if the coach did this or the players did it on their own, but all of the current players made my son feel like he was a part of the team during the tryout. Your players can help you sell the program. Let your players know who you are targeting.
• What not to do: Allow current players who are in jeopardy of losing their spot talk bad about the program. My son was taking outfield with one current bubble player who was disgruntled with the coach and the program. After the tryout, my son did not want to play for the team based solely on his conversation with this kid.
• What to do: Evaluate all aspects of the game. Evaluate baserunning speed and technique, evaluate a player's ability to play all the infield positions, evaluate the player's ability to track a fly ball and to throw accurately from the outfield, evaluate a player's ability to hit various pitches to all fields, evaluate a player's ability to bunt, evaluate a player's ability to pitch and throw pickoffs, and evaluate some player's ability to play catcher (footwork, arm strength, blocking, etc.).
• What to do: Keep players moving from station to station. Have four or five coaches keep the tryout moving efficiently.

After tryouts

• What to do: Call or email each player. Put some thought into the rejection letters. 
• What not to do: Fail to communicate a decision. Do not keep players in the dark. Coaches should let each player know as soon as possible so that the player can make other arrangements. 
• What to do: Have current players text message the top recruits. Kids from one team sent my son numerous text messages. This made my son feel wanted.

The Main Point


The tryout process is part evaluation and part selling. Coaches need to attract talent to the tryouts, evaluate the talent properly and then convince the top recruits that their program is the best option for the player.

Youth Baseball: Select Tryouts - Tips For Coaches, Clubs and Players (Part 2)

Is your son or daughter looking for a new select baseball or softball team? Here are some tips to get your kid on the team he or she wants. Perhaps this info will help you position your kid for selection on a top team.

Step 1 - Go to the local area league website to gather information. On the league website, you can obtain information on the teams, tryout schedules, the coach's contact info, the records of the various teams, the number of games each team plays, directions to the team's practice and game facilities, etc.

Step 2 Create a spreadsheet to record any information that you collect from the league website, other parents and coaches. I created a spreadsheet with the following columns; 1) Team Name, 2) Competition Level, 3) 2010 record, 4) Number of games played, 5) Number of kids on the roster, 6) Team needs, coaches may let you know what positions they are looking to fill, 7) Tryout Dates and Locations, 8) Practice field location, 9) Driving distance from your home to practice or home games, 10) Coach's Name, 11) Coach's email, 12) Coach's Phone, 13) Coach's experience, 14) Notes and 15) Current status.

Step 3 Write down your goals and preferences. Think through the following; 1) What level of competition do you want your kid to play, 2) How many games do you want your kid to play, 3) How far are you willing to drive, 4) What kind of coach do you want, 5) Do you want your son to play a particular position, 6) Cost you are willing to pay, 7) Where are your kids friends playing, etc.

Step 4 Match up the information in your spreadsheet to your goals and preferences. This will help you prioritize which teams you want to target. Check the tryout schedule. You may find that several teams have tryouts on the same day and time. If this happens, go to the first choice tryout and call the coach of the other team and request a private evaluation. Coaches are looking for talent so they often go out of their way to evaluate kids.

Step 5 Prepare for the tryouts. A typical tryout will have several stations.

1. Running: The coach will evaluate speed and base running technique
2. Hitting: The coach will be looking for kids who go with the pitch and hit the ball hard to all fields
3. Bunting: The coach will be looking for proper form and execution. Bunt the ball up the lines. Know how to do a sacrifice, suicide squeeze, safety squeeze, slug bunt, quick bunt for hit, etc.
4. Fielding (infield): Be prepared to take grounders at third, short and second base. Also be prepared to play first especially if you are a lefty. Coaches are looking for proper technique and strong and accurate throws.
5. Fielding (outfield): Be prepared to shag fly balls. Coaches are looking for speed tracking down balls, proper technique and positioning and strong, accurate throws.
6. Pitching: Be prepared to pitch whether you are a pitcher or not, however,  the coach may not evaluate everyone at pitching. If your son or daughter is a pitcher, they should let the coach know that you are interested in showcasing their pitching skills. The coach will be looking for proper form, velocity, control, the pitches you know, etc.
7. Catching: Your son or daughter should be prepared to showcase their catching skills if they are interested in making the team as a catcher. The coach will be looking for proper footwork on throws to first, second and third, arm strength and accuracy, blocking technique, etc.

Step 6 Go to a batting cage before the tryout. If the tryout has 40+ kids, each kid will get a very limited number of pitches to showcase their hitting and bunting. Take your son or daughter to a batting cage prior to the tryout to getting their timing down. Have them practice bunting while they are in the cage.

Step 7 Wear something that will standout in a crowd. First of all, wear something that makes you look like a ballplayer. For example, don't wear a concert t-shirt. My son wore the jersey of his former select team to all tryouts. His former team had a great reputation so wearing the shirt signaled that he had played at a high level before. Note: at most tryouts, the current team players will wear their uniforms. To stand out, I would recommend wearing another color. For example, if the team you are trying out for is black and white, then wear something red.

Step 8 Get to the tryout early, 30+ minutes early. Coaches will love the enthusiasm and dedication. Make sure your son or daughter warms up their arm during this time. Kids tend to throw extra hard in tryouts to impress, if they are not properly warmed up this could lead to an injury. If your son or daughter is late, they often jump right into drills with no warm up at all, or they miss reps while they are warming up. I recommend hitting grounders to your son or daughter before everyone gets to the tryout.

Step 9 Talk on the field and show leadership. One thing that every coach noticed and commented on to me after the tryouts was my son's leadership. My son had been coached very well. He had been taught to talk on the field. I got it, mine mine mine, two, two, two (that means to throw it to second), etc. It seems like a little thing but it shows confidence and knowledge of the game.

Step 10 Hustle from station to station. I saw too many kids walking during the tryout. Make sure your kid hustles from drill to drill.

Step 11 Introduce yourself to the head coach after the tryout. Tell the evaluator your name and your kid's name. Point your kid out. Coaches will often reveal if they were impressed with your kid. Ask questions to evaluate the situation. It is important to listen, don't talk too much. I heard one parent trying to explain why his son did not do well. The coach told the guy the kid played well, the only concern was his defeated attitude. The dad said, "He has always been that way. He just lacks confidence." Why offer up this information. Through your conversations with coaches, you can learn a lot about the politics of the team and other teams (coaches talk to other coaches). Put the info in your spreadsheet.

Step 12 Once you get your offers refer back to your goals and preferences. Evaluate all the information that you have gathered against your goals and preferences. Stay true to them as this will be the place the you and your kid will be most happy. And happiness leads to success.

The Main Point

Making a select team takes standout skills, the confidence to use those skills while trying out, the energy to showcase the skills, the ability to standout in a crowd and a demonstrated passion of the sport. Good luck.

Youth Baseball: Tryouts - Tips For Coaches, Clubs and Players (Part 1)

My son recently tried out for three select teams for the 2011 season. I got a firsthand look at how four teams managed the process. (My son did not tryout for his former team, but I followed the process closely because we had hoped to stay with the most geographically convenient team.)

My son's now former team did not handle the process very well and lost 8 of 13 rostered players.

It has been awhile since my son has tried out for a select baseball team because his status on his previous team had been secure for four years. During that time, the team had a fabulous run highlighted by a second place finish in the 2008 CABA World Series.

The head coach of the team played in college and coached at every level of baseball from college down. From day one of the U9 season, he coached the kids as if they were high school players. As a result, any kid who played for him developed an outstanding baseball IQ.

After the 2009 season, three key players and the assistant coach from that team decided to move on for various reasons and the team was never the same. In 2010, the team had a strong showing at the Cooperstown Dreams Park Tournament, but struggled with a sub .500 record overall. It was a season filled with disappointment and discontent.

Last Team Photo

After the season, the head coach resigned, there was a failed attempt to merge with another team / coaching staff and the overall organization was left scrambling to find a head coach. As such, there was a lot of uncertainty going into the tryout season (early Aug). The parents were left wondering; Would the team dissolve? Which team are we merging with? Which players are in the merger plans and who is out? Where is the newly merged team going to play? Who is going to be the coach? Would the new coach be qualified? Would the new coach be a good fit for my son? The uncertainty of the situation led families to look for alternatives and therefore most of the players participated in tryouts for other teams throughout the metro area in late July. Sadly, eight of the thirteen players signed with other teams. Only two kids from the CABA World Series finalist team would remain with the club.


We had heard for years that the head coach was most likely not going to coach beyond U12 but there was never an official announcement nor a transition plan that would have kept the team intact.

A really strong coach was eventually found but it was too late to keep some of the players. My son had decided to go to another team before his former team even had a tryout. I did hear that the new coach attracted 30+ players to the tryout. I also heard that the new coach is fantastic at developing talent. Hopefully he can restore the team to his past glory with a brand new crop of kids.

The Main Point


Clubs (select team organizations) should set long term plan for the team and set clear expectations for players, parents and coaches. When a coaching transition happens the club should follow the long term plan and clearly communicate the transition plan with the parents.

It would also be a good idea for the new coach to reach out to each parent of the current players individually before the tryouts to 1) start a relationship, 2) allay concerns or 3) have a frank conversation about the status of player in question so that that player can look for an alternative team.

Just communicate honestly and quickly. Parents and players may not like what they hear but at least they will know their status so that they can make informed decision and seek other options.

The Real Reason Why the 1964 Phillies Collapsed

I was a guess blogger for the Intramuralist this summer - this is a story about both faith and fathers and sons enjoying the game that binds the generations together, baseball.

Bad things happen for a reason.

In September of 1964, my dad waited in anticipation for two once in a lifetime events:  the birth of his first son and the first World Series Championship for the Philadelphia Phillies.

The Phillies had never won a World Series before. The closest the Phillies ever came was in 1915 when they lost to the Boston Red Sox. That was 23 years before my dad was born.

On September 15th, the day I was born, the Phillies beat the Colt 45s of Houston, 1-0. That victory gave the Phillies a comfortable 6 game lead with 17 games to play. Life could not have been any better for my dad.

Then the unthinkable happened. Over the next 15 games, the Phillies lost 13 of them and fell behind the St. Louis Cardinals in the standings. The Phillies won their last 2 games of the year, but it was too late. They finished 1 game behind the eventual World Series Champs, the St. Louis Cardinals, and became the laughingstock of baseball.

After the season was lost, my dad sadly tucked his unused World Series tickets for games 1 and 7 into the family bible, where they stayed for years. He and his dad talked about the collapse over and over again. They debated the “what ifs,” the “hows,” and especially, the “whys.”

As soon as I was old enough, my dad talked to me about the Phillies’ collapse, too. I’m sure he was playing back old tapes of conversations that he had with his dad the weeks, months and years following the great collapse. He told me how it happened and who to blame, but he could not explain why it happened.

In 1980, while Jimmy Carter was busy creating policies that pushed the misery index to historic levels, the Phillies won the National League Pennant. My dad wanted to go to the World Series, but money was tight. He called some sources but could not find tickets for a reasonable price. He decided not to go.

The day before game 6, when the excitement and ticket prices were at an all time high, he changed his mind and purchased 2 seats in right centerfield. He paid a whopping $300. It was not an easy purchase to make, but off we went.

It was a cool October night. The stadium was absolutely electric. Steve Carlton pitched masterfully, and the Phillies won their first ever World Series. As Tug McGraw closed out the game and jumped into Bob Boone’s arms, we discovered why the 1964 Phillies collapsed so long ago.

The Phillies did not make it to the World Series in 1964, so a dad could watch his beloved Phillies win their first World Series with his first and only son standing right next to him.

The Main Point


Don't pass up on once in a lifetime events.


I grew up in the New York area and became as big a Yankee fan as I was a Phillies fan. I have always longed for a Yankees – Phillies World Series. Not so coincidentally, my baseball loving son loves the Yankee and Phillies too.

In 2009, while Barrack Obama was busy creating policies that only Jimmy Carter could love, the Phillies won the National League Pennant. Like my dad, I hesitated before shelling out a large some of money (tickets and airfare that was more than 10X what he paid). It was not an easy purchase to make, but off we went.

It was a cool November night. The stadium was absolutely electric and I was standing next to my son at the World Series.

God Loves Baseball

My son came into the world on a rainy day in June 1997 at 3:15pm. My wife and I enjoyed our son's first couple of hours with him until a nurse came into the room to take our son for a quick routine check up before bedtime.  She did not return quickly.

Eventually, a big doctor with a German accent came into our room and said that our son had a serious heart defect. He then told us that he was sorry. The kind of sorry that lacked any glimmer of hope at all. He then informed us that our son needed to be rushed to the Children's Hospital.

The transport staff wheeled my son's incubator into our room so my wife could say goodbye. It seemed like a final goodbye. After a tough labor, my wife was in no condition to follow her new son, so I followed my new born son alone. It was tough to leave my wife when she needed me most, but I needed to go.  As I was walking out the door, my wife struggled to say words I will never forget. She said, "He will never get to play baseball." Tears filled my eyes as those words echoed in my head.

Twenty weeks into the pregnancy, we found out that we are having a boy. From that moment on, I could not wait to teach my son how to play baseball, my favorite sport. I repeatedly told my wife that I planned to make our new son a lefty hitter even if he was right handed. That dream seemed to be shattered.

I left my wife's side and walked in silence down empty hospital hallways toward the exit. I found my car and fumbled to put the keys in the ignition. Through teary eyes, I struggled to see the directional signs that would lead me out of the parking labyrinth.  I found the ambulance that was ready to take my son away. I sat there in silence waiting for the journey to Children's Hospital to start. At 2 a.m., it was eerily dark and quiet. The ambulance started to roll. The red lights flashed but there were no sirens. I could hear my heart beating. I reached for the radio knob and turned on the classic rock station, to kill the depressing silence.

And then it happened. God talked to me through the radio and He told me everything was going to be all right. Yep, believe it or not, the song on the radio was John Fogerty's baseball song titled “Centerfield”...  (Link to the song below)

Well, beat the drum and hold the phone - the sun came out today!  
We're born again, there's new grass on the field.  
A-roundin' third, and headed for home, it's a brown-eyed handsome man;
Anyone can understand the way I feel.
Oh, put me in, Coach - I'm ready to play today;  
Put me in, Coach - I'm ready to play today;  
Look at me, I can be Centerfield...

How many songs are on a classic rock's play list? What are the odds of hearing that song at that moment in time? I think that the odds are low, unless, of course, God is the disc jockey. I got to the hospital in a great mood. God convinced me that everything was ok. I filled out the paperwork and followed my son to the ICU. I waited for about an hour for the official diagnosis. My son had Transposition of the Great Arteries. Basically, my son's aorta was connected to the place were the pulmonary artery was suppose to be connected and vice versa. His heart was pumping great, but he had blood going from his heart to his lungs to get oxygen - and back to his heart. On the other side of his heart he was pumping blood to his body and brain and then back to his heart. This loop never went through his lungs to get much needed oxygen. He was suffocating.

Despite the bad diagnosis, I was somewhat upbeat. I called my wife and told her with absolute confidence that our son was going to be OK. My wife said me, "That's great. Did our doctor read the situation wrong?" "No," I said, "But God talked to me and told me everything was going to be OK. In fact, our son is going to play baseball." A sense of calm came over my wife, too, as I recounted the story about the song.

My son had a major open heart surgery four days later. The surgery was performed by the skilled Dr. Peter Manning of Cincinnanti Children's Hospital. Four weeks after that, my brown eyed boy rounded third and headed for home. I did make him a lefty as planned. And baseball happens to be his favorite sport. He currently plays on an elite baseball team, a team that beat the Panama and Puerto Rican national teams en route to a second place finish in the CABA World Series. He was named to the All Tournament Team.  Here is a picture when he was eight. He hit this ball off the fence about 190 feet, and the reactions of the dads in the background tell the story. If they only knew he has a heart condition, they would really be amazed.

The Main Point

God spoke directly to me. God loves baseball. I would be willing to bet that God loves apple pie and America, too.

Youth Football: To Play or Not to Play, It Should Be a Kid's Decision

August means preseason football. Grueling two-a-day practices in the heat. Lots of running and lots of hitting. It is a sport that one needs to be passionate about to play.

Water Break

When my son, Nic, was in 3rd grade he decided to play football. My wife and I were surprised because we were a soccer family and Nic was a very good soccer player.  We talked to him about his motivations and the risks. We let our kids make their own decisions, so we let him play.

He had an outstanding year. He led the team with 72 tackles in 11 games as the right defensive end. He was also the starting fullback. His team had an outstanding year too. They only lost one game during the regular season and made the playoffs. They went through the playoffs to the Cincinnati city championship game and they won it.

Another Sack

The Fullback Gets the Ball

The next year my son played 4th grade football for the same team, but he did not have the same passion for it as he did the year prior. Regardless, he had a good year and his team won its second consecutive Cincinnati City Championship. My son ended the game with a fumble causing sack to stop a game winning scoring drive by the fierce undefeated opponent. He was sky high after the game.

As the 5th grade football season approached, my son decided not to play football. Again, I was surprised. He had just finished a very demanding baseball schedule with a very demanding baseball coach and was not mentally prepared to jump into football. The passion was just not there.

Again, we let our kids make their own decisions so we supported his decision. We were somewhat saddened by the decision because we had come to enjoy the football families, but it was his decision.

When the coaching staff heard that Nic had decided not to play, they asked me if I was going to make him play. I told them no. They were disappointed but understood.

The Main Point

Let your kids decide what sports they want to play. Help them think through the pros and cons of playing or not playing a particular sport, but let them decide. They will be more apt to succeed if they are self motivated to play. There is one exception to this rule. If fear of failure is the reason why your son or daughter decides not to play a sport then you might need to push them.

My older son came to me prior to his sophomore year of high school soccer. He told me that he was not going to play soccer. I was somewhat surprised because I knew that he loved soccer. I told him that that would be OK and that it was his decision. However, I told him that he had to tryout for the team and when he made the team he could tell the coach that he was not interested in playing. My son looked at me like I was crazy, but I was dead serious. I informed him that if he did not tryout for the team that he would not be allowed to play XBox at all during soccer season. He reluctantly went to the tryout. He made the team as I suspected he would. And not surprisingly, he decided to play and had a great year. Perhaps his best year of soccer.

Youth Baseball: Cooperstown Dreams Park More Tips for Coaches (Part Two)

During a recent conversation with an area coach this past week, I was reminded of a special rule that applies to Cooperstown Dreams Park competition. Coaches need to understand this special rule and communicate it to their kids. This rule cost us a run in a game. This rule cost the team, of the coach I recently talked to, a game in the elimination tournament and a chance to advance.

From the Cooperstown Dreams Park Official Rules

Headfirst sliding is permitted only into first, second, or third base. Headfirst sliding IS NOT allowed into home plate.

In the second game of pool play for our team, our leadoff batter worked a walk. He went to third on a single. He then tried to score on a pass ball. He read the play well and got a good jump. The catcher got the ball quickly and tossed it underhand to the pitcher who was covering home plate.

Youth Baseball: Cooperstown Dreams Park More Tips for Coaches (Part One)

Here are some more tips for Cooperstown Dreams Park directly from a coach who just competed in Cooperstown last week.

My son is looking for a new baseball team so I have been talking to quite a few coaches from some of the top teams in this area.  Most of these coaches went to Cooperstown Dreams Park this summer. One of the coaches asked me if I was StatsDad and we talked at length about the experience. He told me that my tips were very helpful to him and his parents. I asked him if he would add his tips and he did.

Cooperstown Tips from a Coach:

• Cooperstown has it down – trust the system – it really works.
• Check in early.  Boring and a pain for parents and siblings, great for the team and the coaches.  80% of the teams checked in on Friday.  1st night of sleep (Friday) was not great as the kids and coaches got used to the place. Once the newness of the situation was behind the team, the 2nd night of sleep (Saturday) was much better. You want your team to be well rested for play on Sunday.
• Have kids get a red belt and a blue belt.  Nothing in info about belts, they are not provided - we had to make a last minute run before we left town.  Get two pairs of white pants.
• Laundry is a pain, have to separate and count each item.  Have the kids help count, but don’t let them do the forms themselves.
• Clearly communicate playing time plan.  We told parents a head of time that we were batting 9 with subs and would plan to play each player as evenly as possible for the pool play.  All the players paid the same money and deserved the same shot.  For the first six games each kid sat 6 innings, 3 innings at a time in different games.  A few players sat an extra 1 or 2 and only one an additional 3, but it worked out due to pitching. Setting expectations with the parents and the kids before play worked for us, my phone was silent for PT issues.
• Lots of mandatory meetings – make sure head coach goes, better if two coaches go and two stay with the kids.

Youth Golf: Are You Prepared For Your First Loss To Your Kid? (Part 2)

Nic at age 3

Yesterday, I wrote in a post that I was preparing for the day when my son would eventually beat me at golf. I really didn't think that it was going to happen today.

My son Nic (age 13) hit every drive 225+ and did not miss a fairway all day. I struggled on a few holes and my son ended up beating me by 5 strokes. He was on in regulation countless times and if not for several 3 putts, he would have beaten me by much more. He even had his first eagle putt on the 408 yard par 5, 12th hole. (White Tees)

The Main Point

If you do not want your kid to beat you at a sport before they are adults, I recommend that you do not allow them to start playing at 3 years old. Don't buy them the latest equipment, and absolutely do not buy them lessons or send then to golf camps.

Youth Golf: Are You Prepared For Your First Loss To Your Kid?

Are you prepared for the first time when your kid legitimately defeats you in a serious game of skill. Losing at Candyland is one thing, but losing at golf or tennis or any other sport is another thing completely.

On Friday, my son wanted to tryout his new clubs. He talked his mom into playing a round of golf. They decided to play at the local public course where my son will play his golf team matches in the fall. If, of course, he is fortunate enough to make the team again.

My son shot his best ever score on the course and beat his mom for the first time ever. He beat her by 7 strokes.

On Saturday, my son wanted to show me how well he was hitting the ball and talked me into playing a round of golf. We decided to play at our club which is a very difficult and long course compared to the public course he played the day before. (White Tees 72.2 rating and 129 slope 5640 yards / I played the Gold Tees 71.8 rating 132 slope 6553 yards)

I am a golfer, but I am not very good. My handicap index is 19 which means I shoot between 90 and 100 but plenty good enough to beat some upstart kid. Right?

We were having a great time and he was hitting the ball really well. He loves his new Maxfli Varsity clubs. (See my post regarding these clubs.) Then my son, Nic, got hot. He got a par 5 on the long 4th hole, a par 3 on the 5th hole and lipped out a par putt on the 6th hole for a bogey, 5. He took the lead after 6 holes.

Feeling the pressure on the 7th tee, I popped the ball up and it landed on the ladies tee. (Embarrassing I know.)  I then tried to make up for this terrible drive by hitting my next shot as hard as I could. I hit it well, but OB. I was sitting 3 on the ladies tee while my son's 225 yard drive from the forward white tees was beautifully positioned in the middle of the fairway.

I composed myself and was not going to let him beat me. Not yet. I crushed a hybrid that jumped over his ball and rested 100 yards from the pin. He hit his next ball over the green into the water. I was bummed for him. I hit my approach shot 5 feet from the pin. He chipped it close. I sank my putt and he missed. We tied the hole at 6 each.

I ended up getting a birdie on 8 and a par on 9 to beat him by 3 strokes. Nic ended up with his best 9 ever on our club course and he was thrilled. What impressed me most was that he was rooting for me as much as I was rooting for him. I guess a son never wants to see his hero lose.

The Main Point

It seems like yesterday when I bought my son his first set of clubs, snoopy clubs. He was three. Ten years later he is ready to beat me. I am OK with that, but I am going to make him earn it. At the same time, I am going to get him / give him the instructions to do it.

I vividly remember a hot day in the summer of 1977, that is the day I beat my dad for the first time at tennis on a court in Clark, New Jersey. I was 13. It was the greatest feeling in the world. I don't think that I beat him again until several years later. I went on a business trip with him to Austria. We played tennis on a red clay court after one of his meetings. I beat him in our one and only international match. I still remind him that I am the family's international champion.

I recommend that you make your kid earn their first win. It will be so much more special.

Youth Basketball: McFlurry All American

On the basketball court, my daughter is typically in her happy place. One Thursday night during the first game of a doubleheader basketball game she was not. You could see it on her face.

Her best friend is on the team and was suppose to sleep over after the game, however plans quickly changed prior to the game. The team only had 5 players for the doubleheader so the coach sent out a note appealing for a sub or two. CC's best friend has a cousin who plays for a select team nearby and could play so arrangements were made to get the cousin to the game. These arrangements included a sleepover for the cousin at the best friend's house. This canceled the sleepover at our house. CC was not happy.

Game 104 and 105

CC started the first game at point guard. CC is our team's leading scorer so she drew the best defender from the other team to cover her. The defender happens to be the best defender in the league and gave my distracted daughter fits during the first quarter. CC's team got down 12-0. The coach decided try the guest player at point guard. The girl is very good and had some success. It was a good coaching move because the top defender continued to defend CC. CC was not happy seeing her sleepover competition also take her point guard position.

The top defender eventually went to cover our guest player as the game progressed. This opened the door for CC to score six fourth quarter points. CC's team lost by 1 point. It was a great game but my daughter was sad.

There was a one hour wait between games. CC could not wait for the coach to end the post game speech. As soon as the speech was done she immediately walked out the door of the gym and motioned me over. I could see the sadness on her face.

"You know what you need?", I said.
"What?"
"A M&M McFlurry. There's a McDonald's down the street"
"Before the second game?"
"Why not?"
"Sure"

She got the McFlurry and we talked. She expressed how sad she was about not having a sleepover and how pissed she was that she was not the point guard anymore. I explained to her that it was a good coaching decision since it opened up the offense and eventually helped her score 6 important points late in the game. I told her that she would be back at point guard for the next game. My daughter started to relax and look forward to the next game.

As the next game started, CC was on the bench. She had played the entire first game and the coach wanted to make things even. The timing was not good. CC turned to me with a "I told you so look". CC eventually got into the game 3 minutes later as the point guard. She faced a much weaker defender compared to the last game and CC scored in the double digits including a nice give and go with the sleepover competition. The smile returned to her face.

The Main Point

Sleepovers are more important than winning a basketball game when the girls are nine years old and ice cream before a game can be beneficial.

Youth Sports: Coaches Don't Compete With Your Players

Almighty Dad recently posted about parents competing with their kids. It is a good read and a good message for parents of athletes. The story about the dad of the track athlete could easily fit in my Crazy Youth Sports Parents Series. The kid in the story worked hard at the 880 and finally broke 2 minutes. After this great accomplishment, the dad reminded him that he did not best his high school time.

From Almighty Dad

The difference between success and failure is sometimes nothing more than one person’s momentary hesitation – the introduction of self doubt.  It’s at that moment that they get beaten and they fail.  Even momentary doubts are enough to give someone a serious handicap in life.  The difference between winning and losing is so slim that it becomes the little things that make the difference.  You, as a parent, should want your kids to be better than you, and your kids should not be stifled because of your own latent insecurities.

The Main Point

While I was reading the post Don't Compete With Your Kids, I was thinking that the same elements of the post could be written about coaches. I often wonder why coaches yell, intimidate and introduce self-doubt in their players. Self doubt perpetuates failure. It is that split second of hesitation before a jump shot, or a shot on goal, or the throw down to second that causes a failed execution. The best coaches help kids learn from their mistakes they do no dwell on them. The Almighty Dad post made me wonder if certain coaches undermine their players to make their almost forgotten little league career seem better. Who knows?

Parents heed Almighty Dad's advice and coaches take the lesson to heart too.

Youth Golf: Buying Clubs for a Teen Boy

Do you have a young teen son who plays golf? If you do, you know how hard it is to buy them the right size golf clubs. 

Most junior clubs are too short and the men's clubs are too long. Many boys in this age range, the ones who have not had their growth spurt yet, opt for women's clubs. 

Last week, by son broke his 7 iron on his Walter Hagen Junior Set. We were already contemplating buying him new clubs because his junior set was limited in the number of clubs and because he was getting too tall for them. With golf team tryouts in 2 weeks, my wife and I decided to buy him new clubs.

We went to Golf Galaxy tonight to buy some clubs. During the drive over to the store, I tried to prepare my son for the possibility of buying lady's clubs. I promised him that there would be some clubs without any overtly feminine markings. 

When we got to Golf Galaxy we were greeted by a very knowledgeable salesman. I told him that we were looking for left handed clubs for my son. The clerk sized my son up by eye and he told us that we had three options. 

• We could buy what he called a varsity set - clubs made for boys older than 12.
• We could buy lady's clubs.
• We could buy a really light set of men's clubs. 

We shopped last year and neither Golf Galaxy nor Dick's Sporting Goods had any clubs between the junior sets and men's sets. So we were thrilled to try the varisty set. 

We tried the Maxfli Vasity set described below. The clerk took the clubs out of the box and my son went to the indoor driving range to try them out. He immediately loved the feel of the clubs. They were a heavier than his junior set and the steel shaft irons did not flex. He felt more in control.  

The salesman said that my son swings too hard to consider a women's set and was a few inches too short for a men's set.  He strongly recommended the varsity set. My son did not need convincing he was sold. The 15 piece set was on sale for $199 (from $299), so I did not need any convincing either. 

The Main Point

Kids grow, golf clubs do not. When your young golfer is growing you almost need to buy them new clubs every year. Fortunately Junior Club sets are affordable. I am not sure how Maxfli and Golf Galaxy sell a 15 piece golf set for $199, but I am not going to ask.

The following description is from the Golf Galaxy website.

Golf Galaxy

Maxfli Varsity Set for Ages 12 Years and Over. Height Range: 58" and over. 15 Piece Set includes:

• Oversized Titanium Face Driver -Oversized Titanium Face Driver provides forgiveness and Titanium distance. Strategically placed weight screw is low and back to provide high launch and longer carry.
• Stainless Steel Fairway Wood -Stainless Steel 3 wood features a fixed screw to lower the center of gravity to help hit shots higher and longer.
• Hybrid Utility Irons -Easy to hit 3i and 4i utility hybrid clubs with combine the distance of fairway woods and the accuracy of irons. Hybrids also feature a fixed screw to lower the center of gravity to help hit shots with a higher ball flight.
• Wide Sole Undercut Irons (5,7,9,SW) -Wide sole undercut irons move the center of gravity low for more distance and accuracy on all shots.
• Alignment Putter -Soft, milled face alignment putter has a high moment of inertia to reduce twisting on miss-hits.
• Lightweight, Durable Stand Bag - Lightweight stand bag features a durable nylon construction, dual carry strap to evenly distribute weight and five pockets to store all of your golfing needs.
• Graphite Shafts - Ultralight graphite shafts increase clubhead speed for maximum distance.
• Premium Headcovers -Multi material construction is durable and protects clubheads and shafts
• 600D Polyester Rainhood -Protects clubs from rain and moisture during play or while in storage.