Youth Sports: Preventing Sexual Abuse

The best thing that you can do as a youth sports parent is to make your kid feel comfortable talking to you about anything. The second best thing to do is ask questions and listen attentively to what is said and perhaps not said.

Here are two situations where I talked with my daughter, listen attentively and helped her out of an uncomfortable situation.

2nd Grade YMCA Basketball

In second grade, my daughter was on a YMCA basketball team made up of boys and girls. The head coach was the grandfather of one of the kids on the team. The coach was over-qualified to be a coach of 2nd graders. He had coached at every level including college. He was a terrific coach and guy.

After the first practice, the coach came up to me and asked if CC was my daughter. I said yes with pride. He went on to tell me how impressed he was with her ability to listen and learn at such a young age. He was also impressed with her determination and athleticism. He gave me his card and told me to call him when she is ready for AAU basketball. On the way home, I told my daughter. She was beaming with pride herself.

The next practice, the coach used CC for all the teaching demonstrations. He constantly called her out to demonstrate a technique or where to be on the court for certain situations. It was second grade level coaching, nothing lofty, but it was quality coaching. Again, I watch with pride as my daughter performed all of the tasks for the coach.

The next week, my daughter did not want to go to practice. She wanted to quit. I asked her why, but she just said she did not like it anymore. I gave her the standard speech about finishing what you start. I knew she loved the sport, so I asked her more questions. I thought that I was going to hear that one of the boys was bullying her. That was not it. I thought that maybe one of the girls on the team was mean to her. That was not it. Finally, with tears in her eyes, she told me that she did not like the coach. I was surprised. I asked why. She finally told me that he touches her too much.

Well, I was at every practice and my daughter was never ever out of my site, so I know that nothing inappropriate happened. She went on to tell me that when she is in front of the team demonstrating plays, the coach pushes her and pulls her. As I thought it was nothing inappropriate, but it did make her feel uncomfortable.

Before the next practice, I spoke to the coach. The coach changed his style and my daughter went on to love basketball and the coach.

Fours years later with a different basketball coach, my daughter started complaining about the same thing. This time I was a bit more concerned because we leave our daughter with the coach. I asked my daughter very specific questions. Again, nothing inappropriate happened. My daughter just does not like to be pushed and pulled.

Again. I spoke with the coach and told him to simply, tell my daughter where he wants her to be and she will move to that spot.  I went on to tell him that she does not liked to be pushed or pulled. The coach was apologetic and the situation was resolved.

The Main Point

Talk to your kids about proper and improper touching. Make sure that they know that they should talk to you if they get into situations that make them uncomfortable.

Furthermore, make sure that the team has a "Coach and Player are never alone" rule. It protects the kid from potential abuse and it protects the coach from potential false allegations.

This post was prompted by a Sportsletter.com article called Preventing Sexual Abuse in Youth Sports.

Momsteam.com also has some great content to help parents protect their young athletes from predators.

Youth Baseball: Rich Team with Poorly Behaved Parents

If you are a baseball coach, would you rather coach bunch of rich kids or poor kids? 


Before you answer - factor in whether you would rather coach a team with wealthy parents or low income parents.


Last week, I got the following note from a paid baseball coach for a U12 select team in a wealthy east coast town.

"I wanted to drop you a note and thank you for putting together the information on the Cooperstown Dreams Park. 

This is my first trip to Cooperstown that also coincides with my first job coaching at the 12U level after several years as a high school coach. 

I coach in a VERY wealthy east coast town where the talent does not always rise to the level of the parents expectations or perceptions. The expectations are high, because there is a misunderstanding that money spent should correlate to success on the field. 

I gained most of my coaching experience at a low-income high school within an impoverished town. Getting a well-paying baseball job was both a blessing and a curse. The money is good, but the talent isn't quite there in this town. The facilities are great, but the parents are very demanding.

When I coached high school, we were lucky to have one or two parents that came to every game. The parents for team I currently coach are hyper-involved. They not only do they come to every game and practice, but they also send emails and call regularly.  

Your comprehensive Cooperstown Dreams Park guide will practically ensure me a fantastic, well-prepared trip. This is very important, because if I'm NOT going to win many games, I have to be exceedingly organized and prepared in order to retain my employment. 

After I stumbled upon the Cooperstown information on your blog, I began reading some of the stuff on the rest of the site. I really enjoy reading the perspective of a pragmatic, involved parent who is sympathetic to the view point of a coach who is often placed in precarious situations. 

I look forward to reading more. Let me know if you ever need the opinion of a young, lower middle class paid coach in a very upper class town."

The Main Point

1. Un-involved parents make me sad.
2. Over-involved parents, the ones who complain to coaches all the time, make me mad.
3. Parent coaches often turn out bad.
4. My son's very talented team just that broke up because of points 2 and 3, so a paid coach without any family ties is what I wish my son's previous team had.

I am not sure rich or poor matters when it comes to youth sports parents. I have seen the good, the bad and the ugly from both.

Youth Baseball: Get Your Swing Analyzed by a Pro at ExtraInnings

My son has spent a lot of time with a baseball hitting instructor, but many kids do not have access to this type of training nor the resources to pay upwards to $60 per hour. These kids rely on good old dad to teach them the finer points of hitting a baseball, which happens to be one of the hardest things to do in the world of sports. Dad might have played in HS or college and have a clue, but most dads do not have a trained eye.

Well as they say - there is an app for that.

Now there an app that helps a dad or a trainer analyze a baseball swing. The app has all kinds of teaching ad features to help a young hitter better understand his or her swing.

You can down load that app on your mobile device. Search for ExtraInnings on your App Store or Itunes. The app is only $4.99.

Now here is the cool part. Once you download the app, you upload a video of your kid and send the video to a professional at ExtraInnings for an expert analysis. In a day or two you get the analysis of your kid's swing. For a limited time, this service is included in the cost of the app. That is a tremendous value.

Here is the analysis of my son's swing by Dana D'Agostino. His analysis is very similar to the feedback my son gets from his hitting trainer.





Visit ExtraInnings.us to learn more about this app. ExtraInnings is a company that specializes in baseball and softball instruction and training. They have 40 or so outlets. 


Full disclosure. I was given the app for free, but was not paid for my endorsement.


The Main Point

Hitting a baseball is perhaps the hardest thing to do in sports. A short quick and repeatable swing is the key to success. In order to develop a short quick swing, a kid needs to understand the mechanics of the swing. This is one of the best and perhaps the most inexpensive way to get this type of analysis.

I am a huge fan of this service. If you have a trainer - have your instructor use the app to show you what he or she is trying to explain to you. You can also get your baseball / softball coach to use the app to analyze your swing.

If you don't have an instructor and your coach is as clueless as your dad, upload your swing into the app and get it analyzed by a pro. The first analysis is currently included in the app, subsequent expert analyses will only cost about $15.

The app cannot fully replace live iterative instruction, but it will help your kid better understand what he or she needs to do to be successful.

Youth Baseball: College Bound Star Commits Suicide

Athletes are just as vulnerable to mental health issues as anyone else.

Recently, the star HS pitcher for the Riverside High School (Tenn.), named Stephan Gant, drove his truck down a rural road, got out of the truck and shot himself.

Gant was no ordinary high school baseball player. Gant was the Jackson Sun's player of the year for three straight years. He was slated to play baseball at a perennial Top 25 baseball program and one of the best colleges in the country (Vanderbilt University in Nashville, TN). Gant was on a glide path to the pros and seemingly had the whole world at his feet, but something deep and dark was troubling Stephan Gant.

The Main Point

How can a star athlete who is envied by so many have a care in the world?

According to the American Psychiatric Association, this question is part of the issue. We all think that athletes, who appear so mentally tough are immune from mental problems.  It's also easy to overlook the signs of mental illness in people who appear so physically healthy. And athletes, who are in the spot light - whether if its local HS, college or the pros - do not do themselves any favors because they often shy away from the help that they need. Top athletes never want to appear weak to opponents, teammates, parents, coaches or the press.

Kids are participating in very competitive sports at a younger and younger age each year. The pressure to perform in front of fans - who are also critics -  can lead to anxiety and even depression.

Tips for Youth Sports Parents regarding the mental health of your kids.

1. Watch for depression and anxiety issues in your young athlete and don't ignore them, even if your kid is a stand out star.
2. Find a coach that builds confidence. Leave coaches that erode confidence. (I wish I took my own advice a few years ago.)
3. Stop putting ridiculous pressure on your kids to perform at high levels. Your kid is not going to get a college scholarship or play in the pros - and I say that with 95% and 99% confidence. And as we learn anything from the tragic death of Stephan Gant, star athletes who are good enough to play in college or the pros are not immune.

Youth Basketball: Playing Older Competition

What do you think about younger teams playing against older teams?

Last year, my daughter's AAU team finished #1 in Ohio and ended the season #9 in nation at the conclusion of the 2011 AAU National Championship in Orlando, Florida. One of the reasons for the success achieved in state and national tournaments can be attributed to playing against older, faster and bigger competition leading up to the top tournaments.

The coach is following the same path this year. She entered the 5th grade team in a 6th grade winter league and in 6th grade tournaments.

Playing older, faster and bigger competition has advantages and disadvantages. The following advantages assumes that the younger team can actually compete with the older teams.

Advantages

• The team learns how to play against strong teams.
• The team learns how to break the press against stronger, faster and often tougher guards.
• The team learns how to get rebounds despite being outsized.
• The team learns how to win close games instead of blowing out every team.
• The team learns how to lose - going 40 and 0 before a tough national tournament can add to the stress.
• The team learns how to shoot over taller competition.
• The team learns how to create space and move without the ball.
• The team learns how to help on defense because older, faster kids will often breakdown a younger defender.
• The team learns how to work hard for points because nothing comes easy.

Disadvantages

• The team could lose confidence.
• The faster paced game could create bad habits - picking up the dribble to early, forcing bad passes, avoiding drives to the rim, etc.
• Some players could get hurt against bigger players. Our team is very big for a 5th grade team so this is not a problem as a team, but some players on the team are undersized. My daughter is one of those smaller players.

The Main Point

I worry about the injury risk because my daughter is so small compared to most of the older competitors, but I am not worried about her confidence waning. She does get disappointed when she doesn't play well against a bigger and faster opponent but she doesn't get discouraged. Conversely, her confidence soars when she plays great against players who should be better than her based on their bigger size and extra year of experience.

Regarding bad habits, in the beginning of last year my daughter was overwhelmed by the faster and stronger players and she often pick up her dribble too quickly and made hasty passes. Still, she never seemed discouraged or intimidated. And the coach did not give up on her. She progressed greatly over the year and this year she moves the ball with so much more confidence and purpose.  

Overall, I think that teams should play up against older teams if they are exceedingly better than the same age competition in their area. A good team that wants to do well in state and national tournaments needs to find the right competition level to challenge them and make them better. For me enjoyment of the game and confidence is the key to success, so a team should never move up to an older league if it will erode the confidence of the players or take the fun out of the game for the players.

This past weekend, CC's 5th grade team came in second in a 6th grade Cincinnati Christmas Classic Tournament. They lost a low scoring physical game in the finals 15-18 against the 6th grade team from the same select basketball club. CC was the smallest player on the court, but she scored 6 points and was called upon to attempt the game tying 3 point shot with 3.5 seconds left. She got the shot off, but it did not go in. She was proud in defeat.

Youth Sports: Coaching Lessons Taught By Toddlers?

I have a confession. I was a terrible coach for my first son. I was too competitive and uptight. Over time, I learned from my mistakes. I learned how to coach in a much more positive way. I learned from trainers. I learned from reading books and websites. But most importantly, I learned from the verbal and non verbal feedback I was getting from the kids. So when, Alan Stein approached me with an idea for a post "Coaching Lessons Taught By Toddlers", I was thrilled to include it on StatsDad.

Alan Stein is a social media influencer and the owner of Stronger Team. He is the Strength & Conditioning Coach for the DeMatha Catholic High School basketball program, and a performance consultant for Nike Basketball. Alan brings a wealth of valuable experience to his training arsenal after years of extensive work with elite high school, college, and NBA players. 

More importantly, Alan Stein is a father of twin boys. And those two boys have made Alan a better coach. 

Alan Stein - Strength & Conditioning Coach

I am the proud father of 20 month old twin boys, Luke & Jack (aka The Born Backcourt).  Being a father has brought more joy than I could have ever imagined.  It has also made me a better coach.

How has being the father of toddlers made me a better coach?  Simple – my sons, as young as they are, embody several qualities necessary to being a successful coach – and they remind me of these things every day:

1.   Toddlers are Persistent: they never quit. Ever. When they want something… to be fed, to be changed, or to have a new toy… they do not stop until they get what they want.   And they are relentless when learning a new skill (like walking, holding utensils, etc.).  They spend hours and hours practicing until they master it.

      How persistent are you as a coach? How relentless are you in your own development?

2.   Toddlers are Communicators: they speak their minds freely. Granted, it’s in the form of crying, grunting, laughing, and Gibberish... but they do communicate. And they are attentive listeners.  When Mickey Mouse or the Wiggles are talking, trust me, they are listening!

How effective is your communication with your players? How about with your assistants?

3.   Toddlers are Enthusiastic: they have a passion for everything they do! When they are happy, they bounce around and their faces light up the room. When they aren’t, they flail their limbs and scream like wild hyenas. But they put their heart and soul into every aspect of their lives.

How much enthusiasm do you have for coaching? Do you raise the level of those around you?

4.   Toddlers crave Structure: they are on a schedule.  They go to sleep at the same time every night, get up at the same time every day, and eat (and nap) at routine times.  They are very consistent.

      Do you have a daily routine? Do your practices have structure or are they haphazard?

5.   Toddlers are Uninhibited: they don’t care about looking cool. In fact, they don’t even know what cool is. They will (literally) crap their pants and just keep on

Youth Baseball: Budget Planning for a Select Season

How much does it cost to run a select (travel) baseball team?

This is the time of year that an organzied select baseball coach will put together a budget for the spring season. If you are a coach, this post will help you think about your budget.

This budget is based on a 12 player team with a 65 game schedule.

Uniforms

Hats (2 colors)                                 24                        $15                   $ 360
Socks (2 pairs Home and Away)     48                        $  4                   $ 192
Jerseys (Home and Away)              24                        $40                   $ 960
Jerseys (Coaches)                           6                         $40                   $ 240
Pull Overs (Players & Coaches)     30                         $20                   $ 600
Pants (Home and Away)                24                         $30                   $ 720
Helmets (Batting)                           12                         $25                   $ 300
Helmets* (Pitching)                        12                        $25                    $ 300
Equip Bag (Reg)                            10                         $40                   $ 400
Equip Bag (Catchers)                      2                          $55                   $ 110
Equip Bag (Team)                           2                          $55                   $ 110
Shipping                                                                                               $ 225
Sub Total                                                                                           $ 4,517

* Highly Recommended

Equipment

Game Balls (Dozen)                     6                             $40                   $ 240
Practice Balls (Bucket)                 1                            $100                   $ 100
Scorebooks                                   3                          $  10                   $   30
Medical Bag                                 1                           $ 200                  $ 200
Other Gear (L Screen, etc)           1                          $ 300                  $ 300
Sub Total                                                                                             $ 870

Field / Facility Rentals     

Winter Indoor                               1                          $1000                $1,000
Home Games                              15                         $    45                $  675
Practice Field                                1                         $  500                 $  500
Sub Total                                                                                           $1,175

Assumes 15 home games. Tournament game field fees are included in the tournament fees.

Umpire Fees

Assignment Fee                           1                          $   25                 $     25
Scheduling Fee                            1                          $ 100                 $   100
Game Fees*                                25                         $    55                $1,375
Sub Total                                                                                           $1,500

* Umpire Fees for regular season games only. Tournament game umpire fees are included in the tournament fees. 

Tournaments / League / Admin

Season Tournaments                     8                          $500                $4,000
League Tournament                      1                          $500                 $   500
State Tournament                          1                          $750                $   750
National Tournament                    1                          $750                 $   750
Team Sanction Fee                       1                          $  50                $     50
Insurance                                      1                          $ 100                $   100
League Fees                                 1                          $ 500               $   500
Misc (Admin, party, etc.)             1                          $ 500                 $   500
Sub Total                                                                                           $7,150

Grand Total                                                                                     $15,212

Cost Per Player                                                                                  $1,267

The Main Point


A well thought-out budget in the pre-season helps a coach avoid surprise charges during the season and allows the players' parents to budget their money for this somewhat expensive sport.

Note - this budget was built for 12 players - Communicate to the parents that if someone decides to quit and not pay - the other players will need to pick up the difference. As a coach you do not want to get caught making up for short falls in the budget. Believe me it happens all the time. It is better to ask for more money upfront from each player and then refund it, then it is to end up short. For the budget above, I would charge each player a flat $1,350.

Youth Basketball: Learn From Jimmer Fredette

I watched my son's 8th grade team scrimmage last night. Everyone on his team was throwing up threes. Everyone, whether they were good at it or not. The other team worked the ball around, inside and out and beat them easily. The winning team opted for easy inside shots and only used open threes strategically to keep the defense honest.

The three point shot is a strategic shot. Jimmer Fredette is a three point sharpshooter, but there's so much more to his game.

Koran Godwin, author of Everyone Hates A Ball Hog But They All Love A Scorer and editor of Jumpstarthoops/Blog breaks down Jimmer Fredette's multi-faceted game. This is a must watch for any youth basketball player and coach.

As soon as I saw this video I sent the link to my son and daughter to study. My daughter, CC, especially loved it because she is known for her outside shooting.

CC shot a very respectable 7 for 19 (37%) from three point range during her 5th grade CYO season. What's remarkable about that is very few other players in the entire league even attempted a 3 pointer during the year. (Except for end of half or end of game desperation shots.) I saw at most 3 or 4 shots from other players the entire season. And what's even more remarkable is that my daughter is tiny. She weighs a mere 70 pounds. But when it comes to shooting, technique is more important than strength.

At the end of the season, CC was given the "Sharpshooter" award printed on a certificate. When she received the award, she smiled and commented, "Wow - that is the same award my AAU coach gave me after the 4th grade AAU season." She can shoot but there is much more to her game.

At what age should the three point shot come into play?

It all depends on the percentages. There's a reason 7 foot tall Shaq doesn't

Youth Sports: The Coach Gift

I received a special end of season gift for coaching. What coach gifts have you received or given?

I had the absolute honor of coaching my daughter's basketball team this fall. The experience to be with my daughter and her friends was gift enough for me, but the team gave me a post season gift anyway.

The team mom, who coordinated volunteers for games, communicated schedules and organized parties, coordinated the end of season coaches gifts. And she did a nice job all year and her choice of gift was great.

The team gave me and the head coach each a personalized, hand-painted tub filled with a mini-basketball hoop, popcorn, peanuts, a photo album and the kicker - 8 bottles of Yeungling Lager. The names of each player are painted on the tub. A lot of thought and effort and maybe cost went into this gift.

Coach's Gift

The Main Point

Gift cards to restaurants are nice, but this was a special gift.

What coach gifts have you received or given? Share the good, the bad and the ridiculous.

Youth Basketball: Bending the Rules

At the end of the last regular season game, I asked the ref and the other coach to bend the rules to give two of our girls a chance to score this season.

Last night, my daughter's CYO team played their last regular season game. The game was meaningless in the sense that the outcome would not change the team's seeding in the big end of season tournament for the Cincinnati City Championship.

It was a game that they should've won, but didn't. Winning was not the goal last night.

Goal One

Get the players, who played limited minutes in the finals of the last tournament (our last game), lots of playing time. These players will likely see limited action in the end of year city championship tournament that starts next week.

Goal Two

Get players some experience in positions they do not usually play. 

Goal Three

Get the two players who have not yet scored this season some points.

The game plan was to limit the team's three star players to 1 quarter of playing time each.

With the experienced players on the bench, the game turned into a blowout, but the less experienced girls were having fun and gaining valuable experience.

Midway through the last quarter, we realized that Goal Two was conflicting with Goal Three because the inexperienced point guards were not able to get the ball in the hands of the two girls who have not yet scored.

We decided to put my daughter, CC, in the game to penetrate into the lane and dish the ball to the two players who have not yet scored. CC was happy to do it. CC did a great job distributing the ball, but shot after shot missed the mark.

On one drive in the paint, CC was fouled. It was the 7th foul of the half and she was awarded a 1 and 1. We asked the ref if we could have another player shoot the shots. The ref looked at us strangely and said, "no." I asked the ref if we could ask the other coach for permission. The ref gave us a minute to inquire. Our team was losing by 12 or more, so the opposing coach, who realized what we were doing, was happy to oblige. So one of the girls who had not yet scored this season approached the line and shot two soft shots. Unfortunately both bounced off the rim.

CC triple teamed delivers a perfect bounce pass.

My daughter kept working her magic and distributing the ball to no avail. Then with 5 second left on the clock, my daughter got a rebound, darted up the court and launched a half court shot. The shot did not reach its target because my daughter was fouled hard. CC was awarded foul shots. Again, I went to the ref and asked if another player could take the shots. He allowed it.

The floor was cleared of all players because time had expired while my daughter was getting knocked to the floor. The other player who had not scored all season approached the line and put up a shot. The ball hit the back of the rim, then the front of the rim and then went through the hoop. A smile emerged from her face and the knowing crowd erupted with a thunderous roar.

The Main Point

I hate losing. It was tough to sit there and watch us lose a game we should have won. At the end of the game, however, I realized we kind of won. We met our goals (well almost). And that felt better than winning.

Youth Sports: Share Your Thoughts on Playing Time

Playing Time Dilemma - What do you think?

Here's the situation:

I am the assistant coach for my daughter's 5th grade basketball parochial school team.

The head coach is out of town and we have a big tournament game tomorrow.

We have 10 players on the team.

During the regular season, the parish mandated that all players 5th grade and under must play 2 quarters. That certainly makes any playing time decisions easy.

In tournaments, however, each player must play 1 quarter.

The team is made up of a mix of experienced and inexperienced players. The 3 most experienced players working together can control and win most games. Due to the parish playing time mandate during the regular season, we rarely had all 3 experienced players on the court at the same time and we ended up a .500 team.

SO MY QUESTION TO YOU

If we play all of our girls equal playing time we will likely not advance far in the tournaments (1 to 2 games max).

If we play our 3 most experienced players a disproportionate amount of time, we have a chance to advance far in the tournaments (3 to 5 games).

So equal time for 1 or 2 games or reduced playing time per game for 3 to 5 games.

What would you do?

The Main Point

Player / person development is our main goal. Winning is our second goal. (Positive Coaching Alliance - Double Goal Coaching)

I truly believe that the inexperienced girls will actually get more playing minutes in the tournament if we play the experienced girls more. More playing time is better for player development.

The inexperienced players will also get a better chance to touch the ball in meaningful situations if the experienced girls are on the court breaking presses, drawing defenders and making smart passes. Again, this leads to a better player development situation.

The head coach has played the experienced girls more so far in the tournament and the team has advanced to the semi-finals. If we win tomorrow, all of the girls will win trophies and feel like they were a part of something special.

So I think you know how I am going to coach this tomorrow.

Full discloser - my daughter is one of the 3 experienced players and probably the leading scorer on the team.

What would you do?

Youth Sports: Pre-Game Speech

What does your coach do before a big game, a game your team is not suppose to win? Is he (or she) working himself up into a frenzy yelling at the kids because he's nervous or is he (or she) Zen-like calm a la famed NBA basketball coach Phil Jackson?

Yesterday, before the soccer game against the undefeated #1 team in the TPL (The Premiere League - a league made up of some of the very best teams from Ohio, Indiana and Kentucky), the coach of our team strayed from the norm. Instead of bringing the warm-ups to a fever pitch fifteen minutes before the game, he chose to sit the girls on the field in front of the goal for a quiet chat.

When he called the team over, I had been warming up the goalie, my daughter CC. The warm-ups were not going particularly well because CC was having trouble getting a good grip on the cold slick ball.  Quite a few balls were slipping through her hands.

Her eyes told me the story, "how can this be happening before this game of all games?" She knew she was going to be tested by one of the best teams in the league. I also think that CC was a bit nervous too because one of her AAU basketball teammates was the star of the other team.

When the coach called us over, CC didn't want to go. She wanted desperately to work through her pre-game issues, but I signaled her over to the coach for the pre-game speech.

Max Effort - Amazing Save - tipped over goal

"Girls" he said, "we have nothing to lose today. We are playing the best team in the league. They are undefeated. They are suppose to beat us and they just might. We are going to play our game. We are going to play smart. We are going to play our possession game. We are not going to let them intimidate us or take us out of our game plan. We are going to make mistakes, mistakes that might lead to goals but we are not going to hang our heads down if we do. We are still in school. Still learning. If we make a mistake and they score, we are going to get back up and bring it at them again. We are going to keep working on what we have been working on for the last 5 weeks, possession, possession, possession.


That team just lost in the finals of the State Cup in a PK shoot out. A loss that is going to remind them of our win against them in the last State Cup when we won on PKs. They're going to be upset, so they're going to want to win this game badly. They might win, but if they win we are going to make them earn it. Let's limit the mistakes. Let's leave it all on the field by giving max effort. Give max effort and if you get tired, raise your hand and we will get you a quick rest. Let's make them earn it."

The speech reminded me of the Coaching Alliance Double-Goal Coach course I took this summer before the AAU Basketball National Championships. Specifically, the section of the course called ELM. The E stands for Effort. The L for Learning and the M for bouncing back from Mistakes.

The Main Point

Goal 1 off of a mistake

Just like win-at-all-cost coaches, Double-Goal coaches want to win on the field, but Double-Goal coaches strive for mastery (getting better) rather than focusing on winning. Winning is a result of mastery of the game.

Goal 2 own goal

CC's team didn't win, they lost 2-1. They got down 2-0 before the half. The first goal was the result of a mistake. A poor clearing pass hit the back of one of our midfielders and rebounded in front of an opportunistic striker from the other team who rocketed the ball into the upper righthand corner of the net before CC could even see it. The other goal was an "own goal" off a corner kick. CC was tracking the ball across the goal, but the ball hit one of our defenders in the shoulder and deflected in the opposite direction.

But CC and her team made the undefeated #1 team earn it. In fact, CC's team shut down the powerful first place team and scored once to win the second half 1-0.

The team gave max E (effort) and bounced back for a few Ms (mistakes). They gave the #1 undefeated team a scare because they concentrated on working on what the team has been L (learning), possession.

1 of 3 great second half saves

1 of 3 great second half saves 

1 of 3 great second half saves 

Youth Basketball: A or B Team Which is Better for You?

As a parent you want the best for your kid in sports, in school and in life. You want them to succeed and fulfill their potential at everything they do.  To help them get to the highest levels of any endeavor, you work with them or you find coaches, teachers or mentors to help them, you encourage them when they have doubts about their abilities and you nudge them when the fear of failure is holding them back. An aware parent also has to recognize when not too push.

Last night, my son, Nic, went to basketball tryouts for his school's 8th grade team. He has played on the A team for the last two years, but he had no intentions of playing for the A team this year. And I had no intentions of pushing him.

Flashback: At the end of the 6th grade regular season and throughout the 6th grade playoffs, Nic's scrappy play earned him a spot on the starting five of the A team. It was a result of pure determination and hard work and he was so proud of himself. Still, when 7th grade tryouts came around his heart told him to jump to the B team and have fun. His head and pride (and maybe my pride) told him to play on the A team again, so he accepted a position on the A team again.


During the 7th grade season, Nic was not an A team starter anymore. He was relegated to a somewhat limited backup role. He and I both understood this because my son doesn't even pick up a basketball during golf and baseball seasons while others work had hard in the off season to improve and advance.

The coach did love Nic's intensity and quickness on defense, but he didn't have a role for Nic on the offensive side of the court. My son didn't exactly relish his limited role or the intensity of the hard-nosed coach who wouldn't let him wear his headband so after enduring a long miserable season he decided that the B team would be the best option for him.

After the season he said "I've decided to take my talents to the South B team. On the B team I will be a featured player, I will handle the ball more and I will be allowed to wear my NBA swag."

As it turned my son was not the only A team player to opt for the B team. Only 7 of the 9 original A team players decided to return. Two perennial B teamers had high hopes to make the A team but did not make the cut. The A team will make a run with only 7 players.

The Main Point

Parents get a certain amount of pride by saying that their kid play on the A team. As such many parents push their kids to reach for the top teams in the top leagues. The A team, however, might not be the best player development situation for the kid.

My son is deciding between two high schools for next year. One school is big and wins State Championships, the other school is smaller. He has very little chance of making the basketball team for the big school (unless of course he grows 10 inches), but he has an outside chance of making the squad of the smaller school. He will increase his chances if he improves his ball handling skills. He wouldn't improve his ball handling skills as a role player on the A team, but he will gain valuable experience handling the ball in game situations on the B team.

Youth Basketball: Advice for a New Assistant Coach

Assimilating into an established team can be difficult for a new assistant coach. My advice, if possible, run a practice early in the season to establish a rapport with the players.

Last season, my daughter's CYO school team made it to the final four of the Cincinnati city championship. They were one point from advancing to the finals. (I still think that my daughter was fouled on a last second shot, but I have completely forgotten about that as you can tell). I was thrilled with the season, the team and the coaching staff, as such, I wanted my daughter to have the same coaches again this year.

Over the summer, the assistant coach for the team moved out of the city, so I called the head coach and volunteered to be the assistant coach. My main motivation was to keep my daughter on his team. He was thrilled to have his point guard locked up prior to the draft and accepted me into his coaching realm.

For the first couple of practices and games, I didn't want to overstep my bounds and I was too passive. In fact, I found myself on the bench spectating. Last week, the coach was not available for a practice and so I ran it. I worked the entire night before planning every minute of practice like I used to do when I coached soccer. I developed a plan to work on some issues that were exposed in a recent loss. The biggest issues were in-bounds plays, maintaining the dribble under pressure and free throws.

I put in two inbounds plays the girls affectionately call Banana and Hot Dog. I had the girls Run The Gauntlet. And I had the girls shoot free throws under pressure. The pressure was intense because each miss resulted in an up and back sprint.

The Main Point

By coaching alone, I was able to establish myself with the team. I kept the head coach in the loop by sharing my practice plan before the practice and followed up with a recap. I gained confidence and he gained confidence in me. The coach invited me to meet for a beer and strategy session. We worked together on a line-up and established our game plan for the next game against an undefeated team.

We won that game when my daughter hit a wide open 12 foot jumper in the final minute off of the Banana inbounds play. I was now in the fray.

Youth Sports: Coach's Calls, Texts and Emails

Is your kid's youth sports coach good or bad at communicating with the team parents? 

Let's face it. Some coaches are great at the X's and O's, but not so good with communicating last minute changes to schedules or uniform selections.

I am a contributing writer for the site Coachhub.com, so for this fall season, I got both my daughter's soccer coach and basketball coach to start using Coachhub.com for all their team's communications. I also convinced my son's fall ball baseball coach to use Coachhub instead of EZTeams.

Coachhub.com is a custom team website and communication command center.

Coaches can update information on the website and broadcast those changes to the parents via email or text or both with a click of a mouse.

For example. Today practice was changed from 6:00 to 6:30. The coach simply went into the site and updated the calendar entry, checked off email and text to parents and clicked Update Event. Email and Texts were sent instantaneously.

Each update is a triple dose of information (Website, Text and Email), so no parent can say "I didn't get the message."

Other features

Announcements - Any parent or coach can make and announcement on the site and send that announcement out via email. This is a great feature if you need want to set up a car pool for a practice.

Calendar - The site features a web-based calendar to view scheduled games and practices. The calendar can be printed or synched to the personal electronic calendars like Outlook or iCal. Any additions or changes to the calendar are automatically sent out to parents via Text and / or Email.

Stats - The coach can keep the team and individual stats on the site.

Game Results - The site keeps track of the team's wins and loses.

Photos - Any registered parent or coach can upload team pictures into the site for other team boosters to enjoy.

Team Documents - The coach can post any documents on the site like medical forms.

Baseball, softball, soccer, football and basketball are currently up and running. Other sports will be added soon.

The Main Point

Coaches always say that communication on the field is key.

Hey coach, off the field communications is important too. Coachhub.com is so easy to set up. You simply need to type in the players name, the parents name and email. The system sends an email to the parents and they provide all the other information you need - like phone numbers, cell phone numbers, alternate email addresses, etc.

Coaches try out Coachhub.com as your communication command center. Then yell out, I GOT IT, I GOT IT.


It's Free.

Youth Baseball: Cooperstown Dream Park - New Tips from 2011 Season

Readers are giving back and adding new tips and tricks to make the Cooperstown Dreams Park experience even better. Here is the latest advice from a baseball Mom.

Pre-order Food:


If you have a night game that goes late, have one parent go out and pre-order some burgers from the closest concession stand in the last inning. Otherwise, there will be a long line and slim pickings by the time your coach is done talking to the boys.

Group Discounts: 


Ask for group discounts wherever you go! Putt-putt, go karts, basically every place is used to it and most will accommodate you.

Restaurant Tips: 

Jive Cafe -- Looks like just a coffee place, but has great lunches. Right by the ballpark.

Lakefront Restaurant & Bar -- kids can run around in the park next door and by the waterfront while adults eat inside. Great spot to take coaches to watch sports on TV (if they are going through withdrawal as there are no TVs in Baseball Village, of course).

Things for the Barracks: 


A "sound machine" can be helpful in the barracks -- set it to ocean waves or similar white noise for a more restful sleep.

Team Giveaways:


Several teams brought give-away items representing their state, in addition to the pin trading. They threw these items during the opening day parade, and handed them out around the village. These were popular teams! Items included seashell necklaces, regional maple candies, leis, frisbees, etc. You might check with a local business before you go to see if they want to donate anything -- especially a tourist-type of business.

Rolling Cooler:


We should've brought a rolling cooler -- one per team is allowed, and then you can take ice & bottled waters to the ballpark. We wound up with warm bottled waters during some games.


POV on Rental Houses:

The rental houses out on the lake are wonderful and beautiful -- but far away and most discourage group parties. Not worth the cost of the rental, in my opinion.


Cell Phone Alert:

Cell phones while driving are ILLEGAL in New York State! The ticket costs $500. There was a road block outside the park on our first day there, checking for "seatbelts" -- but also checking for cell phones being used by the drivers. Several people got tickets that day. 

Go with the attitude that this is summer camp -- and experiencing a new place and making new friends is the whole point! I met some wonderful moms from other states.


Click here for additional Tips and Tricks. 10 posts cover almost everything you need to know.


The Main Point


Cooperstown Dreams Park week will be one of the most memorable weeks of your son or daughters life. These new tips and the tips I provided last year will help make it a little bit better. I hope you have a great experience and report back here when you return.