Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Youth Sports: 10 Types of Youth Sports Parents

Crazy Youth Sport Parents Series

Here are 10 types of Youth Sports Parents that you will likely find on the sidelines of every youth sports event. Which one are you? Of course you can be more than one.

1) The EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) Parent - This is the mom or dad who calls timeout and runs out on to the field when little Johnny falls and scrapes his knee. Hey EMT parent, the kid is probably crying because he's embarrassed not hurt. You'll just embarrass him more by running onto the field. Let the coaches or trainers attend to your "injured" kid. (I have two counts of impersonating an EMT against me. Read Youth Basketball Busted Lip)

Papa-razzi
2) The Papa-razzi - This is the dad who takes 500 digital pictures at each game and then uploads every single image regardless of quality or redundancy onto Flickr. Truth be known, the Papa-razzi wants to punish all parents who don't care enough to take their own pictures. He secretly wants non-picture taking parents to painstakingly click through all 500 images (mostly of the Papa-razzi's kid) to see one shot of their own kid. (Papa-razzi please edit down to the top 2 or 3 images of each kid before you upload.)

3) The Conspirator Parent - This is the perpetually unhappy parent who schemes behind the scenes to overthrow the coach. This parent does not have the time to coach, nope, they are much too busy to coach. They do, however, have plenty of time to talk behind the coach's back and form alliances. (Honestly, I cannot say I am completely innocent. Some coaches are jackasses.)

4) The Overly Optimistic Cheerleader - This is the parent who is perpetually happy and cheering regardless of the situation. This parent yells GOOD TRY! for every mental and physical mistake a kid makes. Listen Overly Optimistic Cheerleader Parent please note that some kids, actually most kids would prefer it if their mistakes were not acknowledged at all, let alone with an empty compliment. (I have never been this parent)

The Stats Dad
5) The Stats Dad - This is the guy who keeps every stat on every player. The Stat Dad knows how good or bad every player is at every aspect of the game. Parents often seek his knowledge before they approach the coach about playing time. (Guilty as charged)

6) The Snack-Nazi - This is the mom who volunteers to prepare and police the snack list. She makes sure that the assigned parent brings healthy snacks for the players and their siblings.  Don't cross the Snack Nazi, she's union and she's proud.

7) The Team Mom - She's the money manager, travel agent, volunteer coordinator, chief fundraiser and website master. Quite frankly, your team sucks if you do not have a good Team Mom, even if your team is undefeated. (Read about the role of Team Moms here)

8) The Clueless Coach from the Stands Dad - This is the dad who repeatedly instructs his kid on how to do something even though he has no experience in the sport. He's the one who will wrongly yell "Son, keep your elbow up" while his son is batting. You know him.

The Hot Mom
9) The Stop, Drop and Roll Parent - This is the parent who drops off his or her kid in the parking lot for practices and games and squeals the tires to leave before their kid has a chance to get their water bottle out of the cup-holder. This is also the parent who shows up late to pick up his or her kid and makes the coach wait / babysit for 15 - 30 extra minutes after each practice. Basically kids are a major inconvenience to this type of Youth Sports Parent.

10) The Hot Mom - This is the mom who wears a push up bra under a toddler size team spirit-wear shirt. She's the one who sits in the front row of the bleachers and leans forward to show the team dads that she is wearing a thong. Even the Stop, Drop and Roll Dad will sit through a doubleheader when the Hot Mom is in attendance.

READ 10 (More) Types of Youth Sports Parents

The Main Point

Sometimes its the parents not the kids who provide the comedy, drama and action of youth sports.

 There are many other Youth Sports Parent Types - Please add some in the comments.

26 comments:

  1. Great piece...still laughing. Looks like we're leading parallel lives. Would love to have someone like you calling in to my radio show.

    Let me know what you think.

    www.heycoachtony.com

    Feedback always welcome.

    Best

    Coach Tony

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great post! But you forgot the Loud Mom! I have to say I am guilty of a few of these.. and have seen the rest. You have this down!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I had about 20 ideas for this - Loud Mom / Dad was one of them. Last week, my daughter's 4th grade AAU Basketball team was playing against a 5th/6th grade team. My daughter's team is awesome but was struggling against this older, bigger, faster team. Early in the second half with the older team holding a 30 point advantage, their talented point guard plowed over one of our small point guards. The ref called an offensive penalty. The LOUD DAD in the stands absolutely erupted. It was one of the craziest things I have ever witnessed in youth sports. I would hate to see this dad during a close game. Thanks for reading.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Coach Tony - I have seen your Bio - http://ttony5.wordpress.com/about/
    We may be living parallel lives, but you are on a different stratosphere. I thought I was a busy guy.

    ReplyDelete
  5. HILARIOUS, BUDDY!

    I have seen all of them and been some of them--with the exception of Hot Mom, that is.

    ReplyDelete
  6. These are awesome! I am guilty of a few of them as well. Great blog!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Don't forget the "Youth Sports Forum Psycho Parent" who is using 75 screennames to rip on coaches, teams, opponents, other kids, umpires, tournament officials, etc. Half of his screennames are used to bash all the aforementioned, and the other half are used to as a smokescreen. This guy's kid is the one who is out of sports by 12 years of age because Psycho Parent has made sports absolutely miserable for him when it's supposed to be fun. Psycho Parent also never played sports past little league age so he's making up for all the lost opportunities when he was a kid, leading to his own kid's destruction.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Agent Dad.
    Agent Dad or Mom vastly overrates his son's baseball ability. He questions "Stat's Dad" because there is no way his son is hitting .187. Agent Dad can't believe his son is not batting third and starting at short stop. Agent Dad is, at times, "Clueless Coach Dad from the Stands Dad", is nearly always "Loud Dad" and never likes "Stats Dad." Agent Dad hates "Overly Optimistic Cheerleader" and eventually turns into "Conspirator Parent" and, unfortunately, never appreciates "Hot Mom."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. or NEVER appreciates the TEAM MOM!!!

      Delete
  9. Thanks - Nice new additions to the list - although I think that Agent Dad does secretly appreciate the Hot Mom.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm s little late in the game, but how about Happy Hour Dad/Mom... The parents that leave their kid behind inbetween tournament games to go over to the corner bar for cocktails!

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  11. Never too late - My wife and I have probably been a Happy Hour Dad / Moms before. Those tournaments can be long and frustrating. :)

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  12. I just started reading this blog, so I know I'm behind the curve, but I'm involved as a coach in pageantry arts. Dance, marching band, colorguard, baton. No different in terms of cost and insanity. We have what we call the, "Soloist Mom or Live Through My Kid Mom" They are the moms who you better make sure little Sally gets the solo no matter how much she sucks or you will be in the principle's office weekly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My sister has a daughter who is an actress - they are as busy as us. The parents in that world are as quirky as the youth sports parents.

      Delete
  13. I must mention divorced dad/mom who refused to bring the kid to practices and games when its "my time" even though kid wants to be there.
    Kid normally a pawn with divorced dad/mom as to piss off sports minded ex. Divorced dad/mom also major pain to coaches because of extra phone calls, schedules, picture forms etc because "we just can't communicate!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have experienced the Divorced mom/dad situation. It is not pretty. Thanks for adding to the conversation.

      Delete
  14. Actually, these categories were fairly accurate. But I like to cheer the team even when they are catching it in the teeth, so I guess I am an Overly Optimistic Cheerleader type. I guess it is because we won way too many games/matches when we were way behind to begin with in sports and the military. So, it is hard for me to not continually believe there is a potential win. Guilty as charged.

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  15. I think you forgot "Blog Dad". Glass house and stones and such.

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  16. I have to admit I'm guilty of #3 and #5. Really good article though, some great humor.

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  17. The Referee Parent

    Parent that is a referee or thinks they know about refereeing that they know what the call should have been. Will grade the referee after each each loss...

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