Saturday, March 5, 2011

Youth Volleyball: Unhappy Parent Confronts Coach

Crazy Youth Sports Parents Series

My wife and coach of my daughter's 4th grade volleyball team was confronted by an unhappy parent after the last game of the season yesterday.

The situation
  • The first year 4th grade team struggled all season long. 
  • Most schools in the area start volleyball in 3rd grade. The extra year experience gave many of our opponents a competitive advantage.
  • My wife and her co-head coach were dismayed that they could not help their team win more games.
  • My wife and her co-head coach played all the girls equally all year long regardless of ability.
  • Typically each girl would play two games and sit one. The parish rule is that every player must play one entire game of the three in the regular season. Playing time is at the coaches discretion in the playoffs.
  • During the regular season, a match would consist of 3 games even if one team won the first 2 games. 
  • During the playoffs, the matches are best 2 of 3. A match is over when a team wins two games. A third game is not played if a team wins the first two.
  • Friday night, my wife and her co-coach spent an hour on the phone setting the line ups for all three games of their first playoff match.
  • They decided to rotate in the best 7 players in the first game instead of 8 like they have done all year long.
  • They did this to give the team the best chance to win the first game to give the team a chance to play 3 games and perhaps advance.
  • Unfortunately, the team lost the first game against a much better team. (15-9)
  • Three girls did not play the first game, but were scheduled to play in games 2 and 3.
  • Unfortunately the second game was a lopsided loss. (15-3)
  • Because the game was so one sided, our team did not get to rotate much.
  • One of the three girls that did not play the first game did not get to serve in the second game because her serving slot did not come up during the short one-sided game.
  • After the game, this player cried her eyes out.
  • I thought she was crying because they lost the game. No she was crying because she did not get to serve the entire day.
  • This obviously upset the parent.
  • The parent confronted my wife and the co-head coach to share his discontent about his child's lack of playing time.
  • My wife and her co-coach were completely taken by surprise. Dumfounded, they did not have much to say.
  • Both caring and sensitive coaches walked away greatly upset.
  • This dad needs a serious reality check.
The Main Point

This disgruntled parent was completely out of line. First he violated a team rule that states an upset parent  cannot approach a coach until after a 24 hour cooling off period. If he had, maybe he would have realized that his daughter did not play a lot because the team only played 2 games. Maybe he would have realized that his daughter did not get to serve only by happenstance and not some evil plot by the coaches to thwart her opportunity to serve.

Listen there are unfair coaches in this world and I think that parents have every right to approach the coach with concerns or questions or even complaints, but this must be done in a respectful manner. I think that the 24 hour cool down period is a good idea.

My daughter had a great year and loves the game. She will eventually need to pick one sport over another, but for now we are happy that she is playing multiple sports.

Bump Set

First Spike

Winner Inside the Line


  1. This is a tough one. I totally understand the parent being unhappy with the coaches but I assume that they also signed/agreed to the 24 hour rule. They also need to explain to their daughter that sometimes you make a sacrifice that doesn't pay off. An awful season can really wear everyone out especially in that middle school age group. At least in HS the kids will work out a lot of stuff, but generally parents feel the need to "help" at this age. Finally this was not mentioned but did the coaches address the issue with the player. I know that a coach should not have to explain every single move but in mandatory play there is a feeling that there is the "right" to play/serve and this little girl felt she lost hers.

  2. Actually - this is not a tough one - the parent did not have the proper perspective - his daughter was going to play her normal 2 games, games 2 and 3. Unfortunately the team lost both games so she only played in 1 game. She did not get to serve because the opponent beat us before her turn to serve came up not because she was pulled out and replaced. This dad should have explained the situation to the kid not complain to the coach. Of course, this dad was clueless about the sport.

  3. Don't hesitate reading this article "how to find someone's phone number" that gonna teach you how to monitor any wished device 24/7

  4. You’re so cool! I don’t suppose I’ve read anything like this before. So nice to find somebody with some original thoughts on this subject. Really! Thank you for starting this up. This website is something that is needed on the web, someone with a little originality. Useful job for bringing something new to the internet!
    Ragdoll Volleyball

  5. Superb examining .Thanks for sharing. It's late finding this show up. Virtual Coach 2019

  6. Awakened by Stephanie Spiritual Teacher and Life Coach Divine Feminine Class

  7. Each volleyball team has six players. A coin toss determines first serve. The person in the back right corner serves, underhand or overhand, from behind the end line, holding the volleyball so it is visible. The winning team rotates clockwise and receives next serve. recreation tipsy

  8. Believe it or not, but at one time there wasn't Asics or Nike women's volleyball shoes or even volleyball uniforms for sale anywhere, let alone online!volleyball dink rules

  9. I definitely enjoy every little bit of it. It is a great website and has a nice share. I want to thank you. Good job! You guys do a great blog, and have some great contents about volleyball. Keep up the good work. steam gift card ars




Related Posts with Thumbnails