Youth Sports or Science Fair?

If your young athlete had to choose between competing in a sports tournament or a science fair what would you do?

In December, my daughter, CC, worked on her science fair project. All honors students in her school were required to participate. My daughter decided to study beach erosion after seeing the destruction of the New Jersey beaches from Hurricane Sandy. She replicated a shoreline and ocean floor in a large clear plastic container, simulated waves and then measured the movement of the sand with and without barriers. She also took time out from this project from time to time during the month to try out for a National Level Junior Olympic Volleyball team.

CC won first place in the local science fair and qualified for the District competition on March 15th. She also made the National Level JO team which meant lots of travel. The first thing that we did was check the volleyball schedule to see if the science fair was a conflict. As luck would have it, her volleyball team was schedule to play in a big tournament in St. Louis. We had a decision to make.

Crazy Youth Sports Parent Alert

The St. Louis tournament was scheduled for Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Friday had two sessions, an am session and a pm session. I was hoping that CC's team was going to get the Friday morning session so that we could drive out on Thursday night, fly back to Cincinnati for the Science Fair competition and then fly back to St. Louis on Saturday evening to be there to play on Sunday. We planned to drive home after the tournament. I found flights that worked but waited to book the flights until the final schedule was announced. As it turned out, our team was placed in the Friday afternoon session and there were no flights that would work. We had a decision to make.

We decided to forgo the volleyball tournament. It was a really easy decision to make. CC has played in 100's of sports tournaments in her 13 years. She remembers some of them vividly but most are a blur of muddled memories. The Science Fair was going to be a memorable event that had the possibility to shape who she will be. She is not going to be a professional volleyball player.

Another girl on the team, decided to decline her invitation to the Science Fair to play volleyball.

The Main Point

Only 5% of athletes get to play sports in college, so academics should always trump sports.

Actually, a student can increase their chances of getting a scholarship if they are good students. DIII coaches often work with the admissions departments to give academic scholarships to lure athletes to play for their school.

As it turned out, we made a good decision, CC won several cash awards and was selected to advance to the Ohio State Science Fair in May. The first thing that I did was check the sports schedule. She does not have a volleyball conflict, but she does have a soccer tournament that weekend. We have a decision to make.

Youth Volleyball: Crazy Weekend, Crazy Money Spent

I had to share my crazy youth sports weekend and the ridiculous amount of money I spent because of it.

Flash back to November, my wife and I planned a five day getaway trip. Five days is about all I can handle being away from the kids. We planned to leave on Sunday, January 26th and return on a Friday, January 30th. We typically plan our getaways on a Sunday to Friday schedule for two reasons: 1) Every night is a school night. This makes it easier for my parents to watch the kids and 2) chances of missing a game are reduced.

As our trip approached, we found out that our daughter had a volleyball tournament in Nashville, Tennessee which is a 5 hour drive from Cincinnati. Our flight home from vacation was supposed to arrive at 11:30 pm on Friday. I did not want to drive 5 hours at night after a long day of traveling from the Caribbean, so I called Delta and the resort and changed our trip to a Saturday to Thursday schedule. 

COST: $300 and 20,000 miles to change the flight. No charge for the room change.

My wife and I had a great time, but we were ready to go home on Thursday to see the kids. Right before we were about to leave the resort, we found out that our flight to Atlanta, our connection city, was cancelled. We were stuck in the tropics for an extra day. We had to buy an extra day at the resort and Delta was not going to reimburse the amount because it was weather related.

 COST: $350 for an additional night at the resort.

We had to scramble and figure out how we were going to get our daughter to Nashville. Option 1 was to get home at 11:30 pm on Friday and drive all night. Option 2 was to get our daughter a ride to Nashville with a teammate or coach and meet our daughter there. 

We were very reluctant to choose option 2 because we do not know the coach or the other families yet. This is the first season that we have been with this club and this was the first tournament. We spoke to our daughter and she thought it would be fun to ride with the coaches, so we chose option 2. 

We called Delta to change our final destination to Nashville instead of Cincinnati. They were willing to do it, but would not put us on the 7pm flight to Nashville because they did not think that we could make the connection in time due to customs. Our option was a 10:30 flight. Instead of waiting 3 hours for a hour long flight, we decided to reserve a rental car in Atlanta and planned to drive the 3.5 hour trip. Well, our flight arrived early into Atlanta and we breezed through customs, so we asked Delta if we could jump on the 7pm Nashville flight. We made it with minutes to spare. We then rented a car in Nashville.

COST: $270 for a three day rental and a drop off fee.

Nashville is in the south, but it was not exactly warm there in January and the forecast called for snow on the Sunday of the tournament. We did not have any warm clothes. We left Cincinnati in a snow storm the day we left for our trip, but we left our coats at home. As a result, we had to buy a few sweatshirts and some long sleeve shirts. 

COST: $170 for warm clothes.

The team gathered for a team dinner at Old Chicago Pizza and Tap Room and we stopped at a grocery store to get tailgating food, paper plates, forks, etc. so the kids could eat quickly between games. 

COST: $130 for food and drinks.

It was all worth it. My daughter's team did really well in the tournament. Too well. They advanced all the way to the finals. The final match went to 3 games. The final game went to 16-14. As a result, we did not leave Nashville until 4:30 EST which was just about the same time a big snow storm was sweeping across Tennessee and Kentucky. After 6 hours of white knuckle driving, we got home, but we missed the Super Bowl. I apparently did not miss anything because it was not a good Superbowl.

I would rather watch my daughter than Payton Manning any day. She was fun to watch. At five foot one, my daughter was the shortest outside hitter in the entire tournament, but she did great because she can jump. She also played middle back.

The Main Point

Total cost $1,150. 

I would do anything to watch my kids play the sports that they love to play. 

Youth Soccer: Is Field 6 Cursed?

Field #6 is cursed at the Mead CUSA Cup Invitational in Beavercreek, OH. 

What is wrong with field #6 at the Ankeney soccer complex in Beavercreek. Was it built on an ancient indian burial ground? Something ugly always seems to happen on this field when I stand on the sidelines.

Flash Back

On April 20, 2010, my son played in what I think was the dirtiest game of soccer that I have ever seen. It was a U17 match that became more and more violent as the game progressed because the ref did not call any fouls. 

In the second half, one of our players took out a kid with a hard slide tackle. It was not malicious, but it most definitely a foul. No foul was called. A few minutes later, number 6 from the other team retaliated by taking out one of our players with a malicious foul. Our player did not even have the ball when he was leveled. No foul was called.

Both sets of parents voiced their opinions about the poor officiating. I have to say that the parents had a right to be upset. 

A few minutes later, number 6 flipped our best offensive player over his hip right near the corner flag that stands to the left of the goal by the row of trees. Our player fell and broke his wrist. The ref finally issued a yellow card. The parent of the kid who was injured was not satisfied with a yellow card. He thought that the foul deserved a red card and immediate ejection. The ref and the dad exchanged words. Then the dad decided to eject the ref. He chased after the ref for a beat down. The ref eluded  the dad by zig zagging through a row of trees and to his car. The sideline refs called the game a forfeit and we lost.

Last week

My daughter plays U13, so she plays on full size fields now, and her team was assigned to play on field 6. Before the game, my wife asked me if this was the same field that ugly game was played on years ago. I looked up a saw the row of trees that the ref used to escape the irate dad and concluded that it was.

There was a game in progress on the field. We watched two teams in our division play a very evenly matched game. Late in the game, a player from the team dressed in red, made a perfectly timed break to get behind the defense for a one on one breakaway goal. The sideline judge wrongly raised his flag to call offsides. The head ref called it off. I assume that he had decided that the player ran behind the defense after the long pass was already made which was the right call. An extremely large dad who looked like he never played a game of soccer in his life, screamed at the ref with a powerfully loud voice. He continued on and on, until the entire crowd went quiet when a girl fell awkwardly and broke her arm. It was an ugly compound fracture. Guess where this injury took place. You guess it, near the same corner flag where my son's teammate broke his wrist years before.

After they took the little girl away in a cart, the crowd gave the obligatory round of applause and the game resumed. As soon as the game started back up, the irate dad started in on the ref again. The ref ignored him for a while then issued the team a red card and threw the dad out. He picked up his chair and slowly made his way out as he threatened the ref over and over again.

At the conclusion of that game, our girls took the field knowing that they only needed a tie to win the pool and advance. The game was evenly contested with very few shots made on goal. Late in the first half, one of our bigger players, who falls down when the wind blows, got knocked down in the box. Our team was awarded a penalty kick. It was a terrible call. Our best player buried the ball in the back of the net for a 1-0 gift goal. 

The parents of the other team were boiling after the goal and they took out their frustrations on the ref with a relentless barrage of ugly remarks. The second half, neither team could get anything going so we held on to win the game 1-0. The PK goal turned out to be meaningless because a 0-0 tie would have knocked out the other team anyway, yet one of the dads kept giving the ref an earful after the game. He screamed, "Way to go ref, you determined the result instead of the girls. You are an incompetent #@%#@&"

I am not a confrontational person, but I could not contain myself. I tried to calm the dad and make the dad feel better by telling him that the goal did not matter because our team would have advanced with a 0-0 tie. 

Let's just say he did not appreciate my information and started barking at me. I ignored him, but one of our more confrontational dads who was sitting on a soccer chair in the shade behind me started chirping back at the dad. The irate dad could not see the other dad and thought I was bantering with him. He started coming toward me. I continued to ignore him, but the dad behind me kept chirping. The dad got within 20 yards of me and said, I am going to teach you a lesson tomorrow.

I said, "OK" I was not concerned because this moron still did not realize he is not coming back tomorrow. His daughter's team was eliminated. I did not remind him.

The Main Point

Don't play on field #6 at the Mead Cup without a policeman, your lawyer and a doctor close by. 

Youth Sports: Stupid Immature Parent

Crazy Youth Sports Parent Alert. You are not going to believe this one.

What do you think about the ACE cheer in girls volleyball?

If you have ever watched girls volleyball you know that, the players on the court form a circle and on girls on the bench stand up in a line and they all do a coordinated cheer after each service ACE. My daughter's team stomps their feet right, left, right three times while they spell out A-C-E. Then they lift their right leg, clap their hands under their leg and then immediately raise their hands upward while pointing their index finger.

I have to admit. The first time I witnessed the ACE cheer, I thought it was unsportsmanlike. I know that if a HS pitcher did a strike out cheer after each strike out, he would get a ball in the earhole during his next at bat. But after, seeing the cheer from almost every team, in every tournament, I now accept it as part of the game. I came to realize that the girls are celebrating an accomplishment, they are not celebrating the other team's failure.

Volleyball ACE Cheer

Last night, my daughter's CYO volleyball team was matched up against an inferior team who had a tremendous amount of trouble digging and passing serves. Our team is loaded with really strong servers who happen to hit the ball very hard and make the ball move side to side unexpectedly, much like a knuckleball in baseball.

In the first game, our girls recorded 13 aces and 13 cheers in a 15-2 rout. The line judge on our team's side of the court was the dad of one of the girls on the opposing team. His blood boiled with each cheer. After about 10 cheers, he had had enough and did his own cheer. He yelled out, "S-T-U-P-I-D Stupid."

What?!? That did not really just happen. What kind of example does that set for his girl, for any of the girls?

My wife, the assistant coach, confronted him immediately. She asked. "You didn't just call 6th grade girls stupid did you?" He gave her a mischievous smirk and said yeah. The head coach jumped up and had a few private words with this jerk. She let him know that they were not happy. My wife and the head coach decided against a request for a new judge because the game was so lopsided.

Later in the night, this jerk was watching one of our games against another team. He sat in the front row just a few feet from our servers. He was cheered several times M-I-S-S Miss. Unbelieveable.

The last game of the night, our team won 15-0 with 14 aces from our first server. The 7th ace, was a rocket that just cleared the net, then dove downward. The serve caught a girl right in the face and bloodied her nose. Our team did not cheer on that serve or any other one after that. There is a time to celebrate and a time to win quietly.

The Main Point

Don't be a jerk, especially at a Christian athletic event, because the dads in the stands who are far away from your antics might not be all knowing, but God is.

Youth Football: $60 Million High School Stadium

Football is big in Ohio, but not as big as it is in Texas.

Check out the new $60M stadium at Allen High School in Allen, Texas, a suburb of Dallas.

This $60,000,000 stadium seats 18,000 people, has a three-tiered press box, and a huge 26 ft by 44 ft jumbotron. I'm sure Jerry Jones was impressed with this until he heard that Carthage HS spent $750,000 on a 1,200 sq foot scoreboard. Find more details about the new Allen High School Stadium here.

The Main Point

While the Chicago school teachers strike is front page news, Allen Texas is unveiling a new $60 Million high school football stadium.

Wow.

I am sure this extravagant use of money for a high school football stadium is upsetting many many people. I can practically hear arguments, "that money should have gone into general education."

Here is my take on it.

This country has poured millions and millions of dollars down a rat hole for the sake of education and our schools on a whole have not improved, in fact they have declined. Money is not the problem with our schools it is the approach we take to education. 

Regardless, this stadium was paid for by a bond referendum voted on by the citizens of the community.

What is a bond referendum?

A bond referendum puts the sale of bonds to generate revenue up for vote. If approved the money generated from the bonds can be used for acquiring, building, enlarging, or improving buildings or school grounds, or for any other use of the public schools within a district. The bonds are generally issued for a 20-year period and are repaid with property tax revenue. Investors buy the bonds and expect a return on their money. That money is used for the improvements, in this case a stadium. The bond holders are repaid with the increased property tax money approved through public vote.

So, no general education money was used. No teachers salaries were cut or raises denied because of this expense. 

The crazy youth sports community of Allen, Texas loves high school football. They had an old stadium that was too small to meet the demand. The fine people of Allen, Tx wanted this stadium, they voted for it and they figured out a way to pay for it. From all accounts I have read, Allen High School is a great school and offers much more than just football. They have a high graduation rate, a top drama / performing arts program and the largest HS marching band in the country. They are doing things right.

Youth Sports: Dad, I don't want to play in college.

I started Stats Dad to chronicle my kids youth sports adventures, the ups and the downs, the wins and the loses, the tears and the fears, the hard work and fun, the cheers and the jeers, and the joys and the frustrations. My family has experienced the full spectrum many times over.

Well, my family is not unique. There are many families doing what we do, feeling what we feel, etc. So it is time to open up the platform for others to share their stories.

I have invited Mike Ewing, a dad, an ex-collage baseball player, a baseball coach and the creator Baseballinstructionalvideos.net to share his sports dad story on StatsDad. 

I am glad that I did, because Mike's daughter, Ansley, taught me something that I needed to know as my pre-teen girl athlete advances is sports. Enjoy.

Youth Sports Parent Spotlight Series - Mike Ewing

Ever since I was young, sports have been a large part of my life. My athletic career got off the ground when I was 8 in Little League. I was horrible that first year, but we won first place and I was hooked. I ended up improving enough at baseball to earn a college scholarship and I even played for a few years after college. I was forced to hang up the spikes due to injury but at that time, my children, Ansley and Conner, were starting their careers. This filled the void. 

Ansley, is my oldest, started out in gymnastics at 3. Soccer came along at 4 and softball at age 5. She gave up on gymnastics and softball after 2 years. She started playing basketball at 9 and that lasted a couple of years. She eventually discovered volleyball at age 12.

Conner started soccer and baseball at 4. He excelled at both and couldn’t get enough. He played baseball and soccer in the spring, summer, and fall, and basketball in the winter. Football eventually entered the mix when he got older. Football became an on-again off-again love affair, but baseball always consumed him. He played year round on as many as four teams in a season. 

By the time Ansley reached high school, she had become a very good volleyball player. She played club volleyball in the spring and high school volleyball in the fall. She traveled all over the southeast and midwest. She excelled and started getting noticed by some college coaches. We were excited since she was playing a tall girls sport at only 5’ 1”. Ansley got her first offers during her junior year from smaller DII and DIII schools. Of course she dreamed of a big DI school, but at 5’1” even as a libero, the chances were remote. 

The possibility of being a dad of a college athlete made me think about my parents when I played college baseball. I remember how proud they seemed to be. I couldn’t wait to feel that same sense of pride with my kids. 

I would have to put off that feeling for a while because I was hit with this BOMB. At the beginning of her senior year of high school, Ansley decided she did not want to play in college. At first I couldn’t understand how anyone would not want to be a college athlete. I would not have been able to attend college at all if I had not had a baseball scholarship. She had decided that she just wanted to be a student. She had missed out on a lot in high school. She had missed the prom her freshman, sophomore, and junior years because of volleyball tournaments. She had tournaments the day of the homecoming dances as well. She was able to attend those, but didn’t have time for dinner, pictures, etc. 

Luckily, we can afford to send her to school. I grew to support her choice. College is more than just going to class and studying. There is a lot to learn and do outside of the classroom. I hope she gets to do some things I didn’t have time to do in college. 

Life is a bit less complicated for us now. Conner is just now starting his sophomore year of high school. The hard part is going to be figuring out what to do with all of our free time. After years of driving in separate directions, my wife and I might actually have a free weekend or two with no ballgames or practices and we will have to learn how to watch games together. In three more years we may really be bored. 

Over all of the seasons, my wife and I put thousands of miles on our vehicles and spent who knows how much money. We wouldn’t trade it for the world. We have great kids and great students (the number one priority for our kids), who excel at athletics. We couldn’t have been prouder of our kids.

The Main Point 

Mike opened my eyes. He reminded me that short girls can excel at tall girl sports. My girl, CC, is 40th percentile for height and 12th percentile in weight for her age, but she plays at the 99th percentile of heart and hustle. I assume his daughter, Ansley, was the same way.

More importantly, Ansley also taught me that there is so much more to life for young athletic girls than sports. My daughter misses sleepovers and parties to go to soccer and basketball tournaments all the time. As youth sport parents, we might think that these things are trivial compared to the next big game. Maybe, just maybe they are not so trivial. Sports burn out is a reality.

When the choice come up for my girl to either play in a college showcase tournament or go to prom, I will help her make the right choice for her. I'll encourage her to go to the prom. Well, she can go as long as she is home at a reasonable time and her dress is not too short. :)

Youth Sports: Parents Suck (Part 2)

Crazy Youth Sports Parents and Coaches Series

In the last post, I suggested that parents should limit their role in youth sports to sperm and egg donors, check writers, schedulers and bus drivers. My rant was about the parent-led drama-filled story about my daughter's AAU spring / summer basketball season.

U15 Nations Baseball World Series Champ

Thanks to another group of parents, my son's spring / summer baseball team was a debacle too. Don't get me wrong, the action on the field was great. The boys all liked each other and played hard. They struggled to get wins early in the season, but came on very strong at the end of the season and won the Nations Baseball World Series in Pensacola, Florida.

The parents are the ones who made the season quite miserable. Parent coaches sparked discontent among many of the other parents. Youth sports parents with competing interests and goals often leads to no good.

The team was originally billed as a professionally coached team. They had a hitting coach, a pitching coach, an ex-minor league catcher to coach catching and all baseball fundamentals. The two parent coaches on the staff both had roles one the team too. They were tasked with the administration work and management of the games and practices when the professional coaches were not around.

One of the reasons my son picked the team was because he made an instant connection with the hitting coach at tryouts. Sadly, my son never saw that hitting coach again after the tryouts due to personal reasons and conflicts.

The pitching coach, a former minor league player and son of one of the dad coaches, was / is terrific. He could teach and had a great rapport with the kids. The only issue with him was that he was not a regular sideline coach. He was primarily available in the winter, but not very much during the regular season. This was not an issue for my son because he does not pitch, but the other very talented pitchers on the team could have benefited from more pitching instruction.

The "ex-minor league catcher" coach was terrific coach too. He's a young, energetic and credible. The kids loved him. The problem, he coached high school baseball and was not available until the later half of the first season. And by the second season, he was not available at all due to a work / grad school conflict.

That left two dad coaches. Another dad, also joined the staff to help out. So essentially, we had an elite team with three parent coaches. This is not unheard of, most of the teams had dad coaches too, but it did not seem to work in this case.

Many of the parents did not like how their kids were being played (positions, batting order, playing time, etc.) vis-a-vis the coaches kids, actually one of the kids in particular. The anger and resentment boiled up and up as the season went on. The bickering and complaining got louder and louder as the season went on. The calls to the coaches to complain became more and more frequent. I buried my head in the stats book and tried to steer clear of it as best I could, but it was pervasive among the dads and the moms. I have learned over the years that complaining does not work. It actually makes you feel worse about the situation and yourself.

In Pensacola, Florida, the the last pitch was thrown and the kids collected their championship trophies. Five minutes later, all of the families jumped in their cars for an 11 hour drive, and the majority of the team would never play together again. It didn't matter that the kids really enjoyed playing together.

The Main Point

If your son plays baseball at a high level, get him on a team with a professionally paid coach who calls the shots, makes the line up and assigns positions based on merit. And have your son work hard to earn his spot. And finally, during the season don't complain and make the season miserable for everyone else.

Trust me at the end of the day, talent will eventually win out. It always does.

The parents on this team were fun to be around when baseball was not the topic. I will actually miss hanging out with them. I have learned that many parents make a lot of emotionally based mistakes with their first young athletes. I was one of these complaining parents with my first kid and a little with my second kid earlier in his career. Overtime, I figured out that complaining was counter-productive and stressful. The parents from this baseball team will figure it out too. I wish them and their kids well.

Youth Sports: Parents Suck (Part One)

Crazy Youth Sports Parents Series

Youth sports would be so much better if parents limited their role to sperm and egg donors, sports financiers, secretaries, and taxi drivers. They can be fans, but they need to stand far away from coaches, umpires, refs, league volunteers, etc.

A few of the parents for the teams my kids played on this spring ruined the year with their complaining, bickering, scheming and undermining behavior.

Last year, my daughter's AAU basketball team was #1 in Ohio and finished #9 in the nation, but this year was filled with controversy from the beginning. Prior to this season, one of the team's best players left the team. She left to find a better technical and tactical coach, one that matched her skills and style. This made sense to me because the girl is a special talent. I was sad to see the girl go, but I understood the situation. My family wished her and her family well. I cannot wait to watch her play in college in 8 years.

With the departure of this key player, our team was not as dominate as it once was. Regardless, the team was still very strong. They won a 6th grade league as 5th graders and qualified for AAU Nationals Division I. The girl who left joined a new team, a team that became the dominate force in the state. The new team beat our team by 17 and went on to finish 5th in the country.

A few of the parents on our team could not handle being knocked down. As a result, they gave the coach a hard time. They called team meetings. They cajoled other parents on the team to join their fight. The next thing I know, I was in a meeting voting on a suggestion to skip the AAU Nationals. The group did not want their kids to be embarrassed at Nationals.

The Main Point

To me avoiding failure is just as damaging to a young girl's psyche as failing. What does avoiding failure teach a kid?

Were the parents worried about the fragile egos of their kids or their own egos?

I voted to go because 11 year old girls who compete in any tournament - win or lose - remember running in the halls of the hotel, racing up and down elevators, jumping on beds, swimming in the hotel pool and laughing with good buddies as much as the basketball.

I was in the minority. We did not go to Nationals.

Despite my displeasure at the situation, I was not overly vocal. My daughter played both AAU Basketball and travel soccer. She had to put soccer ahead of basketball because she was the starting goalie on her travel soccer team. As a result, she missed quite a few basketball games. My daughter was not a starter on the basketball team. One of the parents, called my daughter out for her lack of commitment in one of the meetings I missed. We made a decision to play multiple sports because our daughter is too young to specialize so I accept the criticism but if we had to do it all again, we would do the same.

I am not sure if it is connected to the situation, but my daughter has decided to give up AAU basketball and concentrate on travel soccer and school volleyball and basketball. Last year, she was thinking about giving up soccer to concentrate on basketball. Funny how things can change so quickly.

Parents, if you do not like a team situation don't be a cancer. Simply leave the team at the end of the season and find a better situation for your kid.

Youth Baseball: Rich Team with Poorly Behaved Parents

If you are a baseball coach, would you rather coach bunch of rich kids or poor kids? 


Before you answer - factor in whether you would rather coach a team with wealthy parents or low income parents.


Last week, I got the following note from a paid baseball coach for a U12 select team in a wealthy east coast town.

"I wanted to drop you a note and thank you for putting together the information on the Cooperstown Dreams Park. 

This is my first trip to Cooperstown that also coincides with my first job coaching at the 12U level after several years as a high school coach. 

I coach in a VERY wealthy east coast town where the talent does not always rise to the level of the parents expectations or perceptions. The expectations are high, because there is a misunderstanding that money spent should correlate to success on the field. 

I gained most of my coaching experience at a low-income high school within an impoverished town. Getting a well-paying baseball job was both a blessing and a curse. The money is good, but the talent isn't quite there in this town. The facilities are great, but the parents are very demanding.

When I coached high school, we were lucky to have one or two parents that came to every game. The parents for team I currently coach are hyper-involved. They not only do they come to every game and practice, but they also send emails and call regularly.  

Your comprehensive Cooperstown Dreams Park guide will practically ensure me a fantastic, well-prepared trip. This is very important, because if I'm NOT going to win many games, I have to be exceedingly organized and prepared in order to retain my employment. 

After I stumbled upon the Cooperstown information on your blog, I began reading some of the stuff on the rest of the site. I really enjoy reading the perspective of a pragmatic, involved parent who is sympathetic to the view point of a coach who is often placed in precarious situations. 

I look forward to reading more. Let me know if you ever need the opinion of a young, lower middle class paid coach in a very upper class town."

The Main Point

1. Un-involved parents make me sad.
2. Over-involved parents, the ones who complain to coaches all the time, make me mad.
3. Parent coaches often turn out bad.
4. My son's very talented team just that broke up because of points 2 and 3, so a paid coach without any family ties is what I wish my son's previous team had.

I am not sure rich or poor matters when it comes to youth sports parents. I have seen the good, the bad and the ugly from both.

Cooperstown Dreams Park: The Book that Sums Up the Experience

Josh Berkowitz, a Jewish dad and diehard Boston Red Sox fan from Massachusetts, wrote a book about an unlikely youth baseball team that competed in the premiere U10 national tournament at Cooperstown Dreams Park, in Cooperstown, NY. Josh was the coach of this unique team.

My son, Nic, played in the U12 version of this premiere event two years ago. My site is loaded with information about the Cooperstown Dream Park tournament. Countless parents and coaches, from many teams across the country, visit my site every month to read my CDP information. Visits to this content make up a significant portion of the 40,000 or so pageviews I get each month.  I guess that is why Josh reached out to me to review his book.

In the book, Josh writes about how fear held him back in life, so I am wondering how he mustered up the courage to ask me, a Catholic Yankee fan, to review his book. That takes some guts. I have nothing against Jewish people whatsoever, but I have a strong bias against Red Sox fans so a positive review was not a given.

Regardless, Josh's publisher sent me a copy of the book. The postman delivered it on Friday as an ominous dark cloud passed over my house. Then strong winds followed shortly. I could sense something foreboding. I got up to take a look and then went outside to take down the umbrella that covers our backyard table. I saw the mail truck fight the wind while leaving my development. I ran around to the front of the house to get the mail hoping to get there before the rains poured down. I had to hold on to my Yankee hat as I made my way. I could hear wood from nearby trees creaking under the pressure, almost screaming in pain against the forceful wind. This spooked me a bit. I quickly grabbed the mail which contained a small package, some bills and a letter from Mitt Romney that happened to blew out of my hand. I ran after the letter even though Mitt is probably a damn Boston Red Sox fan too.

The winds continued to intensified. Trees started to fall and electric and cable lines fell to the ground. I ran back to the house and suddenly found myself alone with no electricity, no internet and no cable TV. It would remain that way for 2 days. I did have a small white package to open.

I watched my American flag struggle to hold on to the pole as I ripped open the package. I considered getting the flag down, while I pulled the book called Third Base For Life: A Memoir of Fathers, Sons and Baseball by Josh Berkowitz from the envelope. I looked at the flag again. It was not safe to go outside, so I decided to let the flag fend for itself. The house was still bright from natural light, so I grabbed a Yuengling beer and I started to read the words of the Red Sox fan with some reluctance.

The book opens on the first day of school at Rashi, a private Jewish Day School in Newton, Massachusetts. A place where teachers indoctrinate innocent boys to hate the Yankees, I thought to myself as I read. I almost did not get past the second page.

With nothing better to do, I read on. I soon realized that Josh and I have a few things in common. We both love baseball. We love Italian food (It's the only food he mentions in the book besides Kosher food, but Josh is not Kosher). We both have teenage sons who play baseball. We both have loving supportive wives. And we both realize that our kids have more confidence than we ever had.

Before I knew it, I was emotionally invested in the compelling characters. Josh describes the real life quirky people so masterfully that you instantly feel for them and feel sorry for them. There is a kid with a diabetes pump, a hemophiliac, a mexican born boy adopted by a gay Jew and his partner. There is a bully you'll hate for awhile and the "private jet" rich kid. The list reminded me of my post that listed all of the stereotypical types of youth baseball players.  And of course Josh mentions lots of over protective parents, irrational fans and clueless coaches. If this were a fiction book you would criticize the author for creating characters who were too far fetched.

Josh also described the Cooperstown Dreams Park youth baseball tournament experience in such vivid detail. If you had already been to Cooperstown Dreams Park you will likely feel like you were there again. I welcomed back memories that distracted me with delight. If you are going to Cooperstown Dreams Park in the next year or so, read the book, you will appreciate the experience even more when you get there. By the way, Josh's description of the pro-like caliber of the 10 year old players is not exaggerated. My son played on an amazing 10 year old team that finished 2nd in the CABA World Series beating an All Star Team from Puerto Rico and another from Panama. Some 10 year old kids can really play the game at a high level.

Josh weaves his story skillfully with both pleasant and sad twists that will keep you reading. And throughout the story he tactfully teaches kids and dads alike the importance of overcoming the fear that holds us back.

If you love youth baseball and feel good stories you will enjoy this true David vs Goliath story about an all Jewish youth baseball team. In this story, however, there are 95, no make that 94 Goliaths. I won't ruin the ending by telling you the story. I can tell you that very few of the rocks tossed by the sling of David were very accurate or effective, but as Bill Murray famously chanted in the movie Meatballs - It just doesn't matter.  It just doesn't matter.  It just doesn't matter.

The Main Point

Josh, this book is inspiring to all of us who have let fear hold us back. Thanks for putting yourself out there and writing it.

And I hate to admit it but I guess there are some damn Red Sox fans may have merit after all.

Youth Baseball: Grandfather Bludgeons Another Grandfather with a Bat

This past week, I watched all 6 hours of the mini-series on the History Channel called Hatfields & McCoys  If you love history, this show is a must watch.

Hatfields & McCoys

The History Channel chronicled the passion, hatred and vengeance between the two legendary families that led to decades of senseless violence and murder. Human life in the late 1860's on the border of Kentucky and West Virginia was not as important as being respected and settling a score.

At one point in the story, a Hatfield boy fell in love with a McCoy girl and they had a baby. Some thought that the baby would quell the violence, but the shared grandchild of Devil Anse Hatfield and Randall McCoy, the patriarchs of the feuding families, was shunned and the violence continued unabated.

On the field after a youth baseball game this past week, the grandfather of a little leaguer didn't seem to value human life as much as Devil Anse Hatfield when he picked up a metal baseball bat and bludgeoned his grandson's other grandfather.

Just when you think that you have seen it all in youth sports, you read a story like this.

The Main Point

In the movie Hatfields & McCoys, both families often commingled at county fairs and other regional events. At these events, they would listen to music, dance and compete in games of skill all while avoiding each other. Of course, hatred confined to a small area was like a powder keg ready to explode at any moment.

Similarly, youth sports often brings people together who don't want to be together.  Divorced parents, who divvy up major holiday so that they can avoid each other often find themselves attending the same youth sporting events. These unavoidable meet-ups can be civil or explosive. I have seen both, so I was not surprised by the story of the family feud playing out on a little league field after a game.

Do you have any family feud youth sports stories to share? Please do.

Youth Sports: It's Not About You Dad

This past memorial day weekend, my daughter's U11 soccer team advanced to the finals of the Warrior Classic, an elite regional soccer tournament held in Dayton.

The pre-game line-up before the finals

The team has played well all season, but has made fatal flaws in games that have resulted in more losses than wins. The team finally put it all together in this tournament, including a big win over the best team in Ohio during pool play. Unfortunately, our team lost in the finals to the same team 1-0. Regardless, my daughter's team earned a lot of respect and walked away with some hardware.

CC with 2nd place hardware

That is not the story. This is a Crazy Youth Sports Parents Series Story

One of CC's teammate did not participate in this wonderful experience. She did not participate because her dad made the decision to quit the team prior to the tournament.

Here is how it went down:

Memorial Day Weekend is a big soccer tournament weekend. Our U11 Elite team was playing in Dayton. The U12 Elite team was playing in Columbus.

A dad on our team has a daughter on both teams, so to keep the family together for the holiday weekend and reduce the number of hotel rooms needed, he asked the U12 coach if his younger daughter could play up.

The U12 coach called our coach to ask permission to take the player. Our coach approved the move.

Our coach then called up another defender from the B team, a defender who he has wanted to call up for awhile now. He saw this as a great opportunity to see how this B team defender would play at the highest level prior to tryouts coming up.

The U12 coach then decided that he did not want to add the younger player to his tournament roster.

The dad then called our coach to inform him that his daughter would be coming to the U11 tournament. The coach informed the dad that he has already registered for the tournament with the B player on the roster. He said that she could come to the tournament, but expect reduced playing time.

The dad was not happy with this situation, became irate and decided to quit.

The Main Point

Unfortunately, this is not a unique situation. Many parents over-react when they feel that their kid is being wronged.

Who loses in situations like this?

The girl, who is a great kid. She didn't play soccer all weekend long and missed a chance to win a trophy.

The girl's teammates who missed playing with their friend.

The dad, who is a great guy and probably feels sick about the situation. I have never gone to this extreme, but I have approached coaches and regretted it. I don't do that anymore.

Tip - Let the season play out and then make a rational decision for your kid.

Youth Sports: Two Sport Athlete Overcommitted (Part 1)

Is it fair to commit to two different teams in the same season? Fair to the respective coaches, fair to both sets of teammates, fair to other parents who spend a lot of money to be on a team with high expectations?

My two sport athletic daughter is over-committed and her basketball coach is not happy about it. I don't know what to do about it. Over the next several posts, I am going to think through the problem. I am not a fan of specialization at age 11, but we obviously need to address the situation to be fair to her teams.

Last year, CC found out that a soccer teammate named Mel played both AAU basketball and elite soccer at the same time. CC loves basketball and wanted to do the same. I found it hard to believe that you could do both, but I promised to investigate it. I asked the Mel's dad about it. He told me that they have been handling it with relatively few conflicts. He also mentioned that Mel's basketball team was holding a tryout over the next two weekends.

I looked at the basketball tryout schedule for first weekend and realized that we wouldn't be able to make it due to an out-of-town soccer tournament. That should have been my first clue. I looked at the second weekend and as bad luck would have it, my daughter had a soccer game 60 miles away from the basketball tryout. At first, I did not think we could do both, but I figured out that if the soccer game started and ended on time, we could possibly make it to the basketball tryout 5 to 10 minutes late.

It was a rainy day and I was hoping that soccer was going to get canceled, but it didn't. Fortunately, it was raining so hard, that the refs decided to start the game early and cut half-time short. This gave us an opportunity. Unfortunately, the rain snarled traffic and slowed us and we arrived at the tryout 50 minutes late. That should have been my second clue.

CC took the floor with complete confidence and I took my place on the bleachers. I then did a quick count of the number of girls on the court vying for 10 spots. There were 44 girls. After missing the entire first tryout and 50 minutes of the second, I figured CC's chances were slim to none. I thought to myself, that it would probably be for the best.

After the tryout, I told CC how proud I was of her for confidently jumping right in there. I told her that she can definitely play at that level, but that the chances of being noticed during the last 40 minutes were not good.

The following night, I got a call from the coach. CC made the team the team for the winter. We were also informed that another tryout would be held in February for the AAU National Tournament team.

We accepted the invitation to play on the winter team. CC's soccer team competed in Futsal in the winter, but the winter season for soccer is pretty laid back. CC only missed 3 of 20 Futsal games due to conflicts.

In February, CC made the National Tournament team and we accepted. To my surprise, Mel decided to decline her offer. Her dad thought it was too much. WHAT??#@%@ He convinced us that it could be done. That should have been my third clue.

Well, thanks to a lot of rain last spring, most of the weekend soccer games were rescheduled for the weekdays. And thanks to luck, the 5 basketball tournaments were on different weekends than the 3 soccer tournaments. CC did not miss any soccer games (19) or any spring basketball games (49).

The Main Point

An 11 year old athlete should not have to specialize in one sport, but it is so difficult to do in this over the top youth sports world with year round teams.

This year is a different story all together. It has not rained much this spring and there are lots of conflicts and the basketball coach is not exactly happy. More in the next post - including a letter from the coach.

Ugly Youth Baseball Fight Caused by Adults?

Crazy Youth Parents and Coaches Series

The entire Yuba City Junior Varsity baseball team was suspended for an entire week following a massive brawl with rival Del Campo. The account of the fight was covered by advarsitysports.com

The ugly event allegedly started with a first base coach jawing with the pitcher of the Yuba City Honkers. The young pitcher lost his cool and threw a baseball at the coach. The ball missed the coach, so the player charged the coach and a brawl ensued. Check it out.



As if this event did not need anymore ugliness, at the end of the video you'll notice a foul mouthed mom (I assume it's a mom) walk on the field dropping F-bombs and giving a finger to the collective.

The school, not the commissioner of the section, imposed the penalty. His M.O. as he put it is to let the school police itself. I hope that stiffer and more specific penalties result after a full investigation.

The Main Point

I think that the first base coach of Del Campo should be fired if the accounts are true. A coach should never, ever address a youth player in this way.

The pitcher should be suspended for the entire season. This kid lost his cool and gave his school, with a great baseball reputation, a major black eye. Luckily the kid was not batting when the coach got under his skin, otherwise the young punk could be facing assault with a deadly weapon charges today.

Finally, the mom, who walked on the field, was not doing her son or herself any favors by going on to the field spewing profanities. I would bet that her behavior is the root cause to the issue.

Unfortunately, parents and coaches set the tone for kids. The parent and coach in this case set an ugly tone indeed.

Youth Sports Travel Destination Tournaments: The Original Hunger Games

I went to see the Hunger Games this weekend with my daughter CC and my wife. The movie was great. During the movie, I could not stop thinking about the similarities between the Hunger Games and travel destination select sports tournaments. There were so many parallels to the baseball tournament that my son competed in at Cooperstown Dreams Park.

Here's a quick synopsis of the movie for those who have not seen the movie or read the book. Don't worry, I do not give too much away.

The story is based in the near future. A collapsed North America was replaced by Panem, a country that was divided into 12 districts. An over-reaching and intimidating government controlled every aspect of life including food consumption (sounds pretty plausible doesn't).

Every year, one teenage boy and girl from each district are selected by lottery to participate in The Hunger Games. The Hunger Games were held to intimidate the subjugated districts and quell any thoughts of rebellion. The amount of food consumed by a family during the previous year determines the number of lottery chances each kid in the family receives.  

Once the lottery determines the contestant pool, each of the 24 contestants is whisked off to the capital and lavished with amazing food, clothes and accommodations. It's a far cry from the meager existence that they endure in their fenced in district.  

During the pre-game ceremonies, the participants are paraded in front of fans who are eager to bet on their favorite participant. The contestants participate in a skills competition to gain favor with fans with hopes that adoring fans will provide help during the competition (medicine or advice).

When the games begin, the 24 participants are released into a large wooded fenced in reserve and forced to kill or be killed. The games are televised throughout Panem and the citizens are forced to watched. For some it was a fate to be feared, but for others it was an event they had trained for their entire lives. These eager young killers considered the award was worth the risk because last teen alive is revered forever. 

A very young teen named Prim was selected as the mining district's female representative, however, Katniss, her brave older sister, volunteered to take her place. Katniss had strong survival instincts and was deft with a bow and arrow. Prin would not have lasted 1 minute. 

Katniss was pitted against bigger and stronger representatives who had trained for this their whole lives. 

We sat on the edge of our seats as we shared a 12,000 calorie large bucket of buttered popcorn. Ironically, the amount of popcorn we consumed would have doomed my kids to participate in the Hunger Games.

Here are the similarities between The Hunger Games and Destination Travel Sports Tournaments like the Cooperstown Dreams Park youth baseball tournament that my son competed in several years ago.

1) Young kids are whisked away to a far away land to compete against other kids from different regions.
2) The kids compete in a secured fenced in compound with no chance of escape. There's no way to get out of the Cooperstown Dreams Park compound.
3) Before the games start, the kids are paraded around a stadium in front of a

Youth Sports: Strip Club Sponsors Local Little League

A struggling economy and over regulation has left a local little league's budget a little exposed. 

The budget strapped Lennox School District in California recently doubled field usage fees for a local baseball youth league. Rising maintenance costs and the need to provide security were cited as reasons.

They also banned the league from selling grilled food at the games. For years, the league had counted on sales of grilled food for revenue. The Lennox School District was concerned about public heath - actually they were concerned about financial liability. The Superintendent says that the school district cannot ensure that the league volunteers will handle and cook the food properly. The risk of punitive lawsuits to the school district outweighed the benefit.

These two moves put the season in jeopardy until the Jet Strip Gentleman's Club donated $1,200. Despite the dire situation and the club manager's assertion that the Jet Strip is community and family-oriented, the league returned the funds.

The season looked like it was going to be a big bust, until the publicity from the situation raised awareness of the league's plight.  Donations poured in from more appropriate sources and the season was saved.

This club donated the money without any G-strings attached. They did not demand a big promotional sign at the games. They did not ask for naming rights of the Field - Jet Strip Gentleman's Club Little League Park. Heck, they did not even ask if their girls could perform on the foul poles between innings. Several parents in the district did not mind that the money came from the strip club - money is money. What are your thoughts?

What about bars?

When my son was nine, his team played against a team sponsored by a local watering hole. Each kid on the tavern team donned a yellow shirt. They had their first names affixed on the back of the jersey over a large number. Emblazoned on the front of the jersey was Linda's Bar in classic baseball script writing. When I first saw the uniforms I wondered who in the world would put that on a little league jersey. Then I looked into the crowd and stopped wondering. 

I wrote about that night in my post called Cat Fight in the Stands. 

The Main Point

The world has tuned completely upside down when a strip club owner looks good and a school district looks bad. Somethings have not changed - strip clubs are recession proof, we need tort reform, US schools are a financial hot mess, sex sells and all PR is good PR.

Amusing Ways Youth Sports Parents Deal with Rising Gas Prices

There is nothing funny about rising gas prices, except how we deal with it. See some amusing ways to deal with it.

The cost of gas reached an all time "month of March" high yesterday. Experts are predicting $5.00 per gallon by the summer. This is a scary number for youth sports parents. There are many reasons for these high prices including; 1) high demand for energy from emerging countries like China and India, 2) the shut down of several US refineries, 3) the seasonal move to higher cost summer blends, 4) the unrest in the middle east, especially in Iran and 5) a US government that has been short-sighted regarding energy policy for over 40 years.

If you were told you had to pay $7.62* for each practice, would you sign your kid up for sports?

* Assumes you drive a Honda Odyssey with MPG of about 20 mpg (hwy / city), practice is 10 miles from your house, you do not stay at the practice for the entire 2 hours - instead you drive back and forth twice.

The Main Point

If behaviors don't change in our government, then youth sports parents will need to change. Here are some interesting suggestions to deal with the rising cost of gas.

1. Youth sports parents can charge their kids and any carpool kids a baggage fee for each trip. Little Bobby better fit his baseball bag under the seat or pay up. Tip for hockey moms - charge more for those oversized bags.
2. Youth sports parents can stay at each practice for the entire 2 hours. This cuts the per practice cost in half to $3.81. Beware - this is like torture for many parents. Youth sports parents reveal deep dark secrets when tortured - like their disdain for the coach, some snotty kid on the team or the Hot Mom in the toddler sized spirit wear and push up bra.
3. Youth sports parents can limit food service in the car. Yep - No more drive through visits to McDonalds for trips under 2 hours. You can provide a 1 oz bag of peanuts, a third of a can of soda with ice and a cocktail

Youth Hockey: Dad Distracts Goalie With Laser Light

Crazy Youth Sports Parent Series

Just when you think that you have seen it all in youth sports.

Yesterday, a crazy youth sports dad brought a green light laser pen to his daughter's high school hockey game and aimed the laser into the eyes of the opposing goalie. He was hoping to distract the goalie and thus create an advantage for his kid's team.

He humiliated himself and his daughter.




The Main Point

Participation in youth sports is so memorable for most kids. Some remember great games or great plays. And some just remember what an ass their dad or mom was during games.

Dad - Mom, Don't provide the memorable actions - let your kid do that during competition.

Youth Sports: Take a Time Out for Your Marriage

Last year, my two kids played in 256 games and participated in 180 practices. That's a lot of time dedicated to our kids, so last week, my wife and I took a time out from youth sports to reconnect with each other and refresh for the crazy spring to come.

We spent 6 days in the Caribbean while the kids stayed at home with grandparents.

Although our parents love our kids, the schedule that our kids keep would give anyone pause. I was able to convinced my dad and his wife to watch the kids. And we tried to make it easy for them so that they might consider doing it again.

Here are 13 tips on how my wife and I made watching our youth sports kids easy easier.

1. Create a very detailed schedule for each day of the week (see example)
2. Pre-cook and freeze some meals.
3. Set expectations on homework and bedtime with kids before you leave and with your parents (or whoever is watching your kids)
4. Clean and set out school and sports uniforms for the week.
5. Leave a list of contact numbers for doctors, dentists, orthodontist, insurance, school, the parents to your kid's friends (especially those who will be carpooling to practices), the local police / fire, the hotel where you are staying.
6. Leave medical insurance card(s) and a letter saying that the guardian has been given the right to recommend treatment.
7. Pick a destination that is easy to get to and from, just in case of an emergency.
8. Arrange rides to practices with teammates. (I'm sure your parents will

Youth Sports: Parents Role in Helping Kids Select a School

What role should mom or dad play when a young athlete is choosing a school?

National signing day for NCAA was this week. ESPN makes a big deal out of it. One of the top football recruits in the country, Landon Collins, selected Alabama over his home state school of LSU. His mom is a huge LSU fan and was not happy. Watch the video.

Crazy Youth Sports Parents Alert: It is not about you, mom.

______________

My son, Nic, is only in 8th grade, but he had to proclaim his intentions for a high school this past week too.

Nic had four obvious options. The free public high school in our town with is quite good. Moeller High School where his brother went to school. St. Xavier (the rival school to Moeller) and Cincinnati Christian Hills Academy (CHCA). Although there are pros and cons to each, all four options are strong educational institutions. Some are stronger than others but each will provide a great foundation for college. Nic couldn't make a mistake.

Nic quickly narrowed down to two schools based on baseball, Moeller and CHCA. I was ok that he used baseball as a criteria for selection because both programs were strong academically.

Moeller is a perennial baseball powerhouse. Ken Griffey Jr and Barry Larkin both went to Moeller. Moeller plays in the highest state baseball division. Moeller is a great program to prepare a young baseball player for college level. The program is highly competitive, so getting playing time is not a given.

CHCA is also well know for baseball. They have an amazing coaching staff. They are perennial favorites to win the division II championship every year. CHCA is a much smaller school than Moeller (50 boys per class compared to 200), so the competition for playing time is less.

My son set his sights on Moeller, not because of the academics or the baseball program, but because that is where many of his closest friends are going. He was also impressed with the House System. (Think Hogwarts)

I was pushing my son to go to CHCA because it is an amazing academic school and because he could play baseball, golf and basketball for the school all four years. He loves to compete.

Nic's elementary school is a feeder school for Moeller, so getting accepted into the program is pretty much guaranteed. Gaining acceptance to CHCA is much more competitive. Both schools require an entrance exam.

Nic was dead set on Moeller. He didn't want to shadow at CHCA or take their entrance exam.

What should a parent do?

The Main Point

It is not about me. My son is 14. He's old enough to make his own decisions. I believe that my role as a parent is to guide Nic, not make decisions for him. Well kind of.

He decided he was not going to explore the CHCA option. I explained to him that options in life are good and that he had nothing to lose. I also sensed that he wanted to explore CHCA, but was a afraid he would not get in. So I made him shadow and take the entrance exam. I told him that he would go through the process and then he could decide.

I remember when my older son decided to quit playing soccer in HS. He gathered up the courage to tell me. Much to his surprise, I said that was ok. That it was his life and his decision. I also told him that he was going to tryout for the team and if he made the team he could tell the coach that he didn't want to play. I knew he wanted to play, but was a afraid that he would not make it. He made the team and played.

Nic got into both schools. Together we discussed the pros and cons to each. He then made an informed decision to go to Moeller.

Guide your kids. Teach them how to make decisions. It is a life lesson that needs to be learned.