Youth Sports: It's Not About You Dad

This past memorial day weekend, my daughter's U11 soccer team advanced to the finals of the Warrior Classic, an elite regional soccer tournament held in Dayton.

The pre-game line-up before the finals

The team has played well all season, but has made fatal flaws in games that have resulted in more losses than wins. The team finally put it all together in this tournament, including a big win over the best team in Ohio during pool play. Unfortunately, our team lost in the finals to the same team 1-0. Regardless, my daughter's team earned a lot of respect and walked away with some hardware.

CC with 2nd place hardware

That is not the story. This is a Crazy Youth Sports Parents Series Story

One of CC's teammate did not participate in this wonderful experience. She did not participate because her dad made the decision to quit the team prior to the tournament.

Here is how it went down:

Memorial Day Weekend is a big soccer tournament weekend. Our U11 Elite team was playing in Dayton. The U12 Elite team was playing in Columbus.

A dad on our team has a daughter on both teams, so to keep the family together for the holiday weekend and reduce the number of hotel rooms needed, he asked the U12 coach if his younger daughter could play up.

The U12 coach called our coach to ask permission to take the player. Our coach approved the move.

Our coach then called up another defender from the B team, a defender who he has wanted to call up for awhile now. He saw this as a great opportunity to see how this B team defender would play at the highest level prior to tryouts coming up.

The U12 coach then decided that he did not want to add the younger player to his tournament roster.

The dad then called our coach to inform him that his daughter would be coming to the U11 tournament. The coach informed the dad that he has already registered for the tournament with the B player on the roster. He said that she could come to the tournament, but expect reduced playing time.

The dad was not happy with this situation, became irate and decided to quit.

The Main Point

Unfortunately, this is not a unique situation. Many parents over-react when they feel that their kid is being wronged.

Who loses in situations like this?

The girl, who is a great kid. She didn't play soccer all weekend long and missed a chance to win a trophy.

The girl's teammates who missed playing with their friend.

The dad, who is a great guy and probably feels sick about the situation. I have never gone to this extreme, but I have approached coaches and regretted it. I don't do that anymore.

Tip - Let the season play out and then make a rational decision for your kid.

Youth Soccer: Crazy Youth Soccer Parents Video

Are you trying to decide between select travel soccer and recreational soccer? I wrote a post called "The Differences Between Select (Travel) and Recreation Soccer" that explains the differences to help you decide.

Before you read that post, answer this easy question. Is your kid nine or older?

If you answered yes, then it is probably too late to move to select soccer. What?!? You see most of the best players have had personal Brazilian trainers since pre-school. I'm half kidding.

Watch this hilarious video about a mom who is considering select soccer for her nine year old kid.

Crazy Youth Sports Parents Series



So much of this video rang true for me.

1) Regarding a Brazilian soccer trainer - My oldest son trained with a Brazilian soccer star Paulo Berreto from age 9 to 11. My son played select soccer from 9-18 on competitive teams but did not play on elite teams. He played two years of High School, but never made varsity. Perhaps we did not start him early enough?
2) My middle son was an exceptional soccer player at a young age. He decided to play football in 3rd and 4th grade. When he went back to soccer he found that he was too far behind to compete.
3) My daughter started select soccer at 8, but I trained her from the age of 2. Her soccer trainers have not been Brazilian, but they have advanced licenses. At 10 years old, she currently plays at an elite level. So maybe this video holds some truth.
4) Travel teams from Texas will rip your kid apart - We have not encountered teams from Texas in any of the soccer tournaments that my kids have played in - but strong and physical teams come from many states away to compete in the high profile tournaments.
5) Fundraising is a part of travel soccer - My kids have sold things from Honeybaked Hams to wrapping paper. Read this post of mine called "Youth Sports, I'm Done with Fundraising".
6) You need a soccer coaching license and a soccer resume to coach - My oldest son did not quite make the A team when he was 10, but the club had enough players to form two teams. A "B" team was formed, but it didn't have a coach. The Director of Coaching for the club knew that I had coached recreational soccer. He coaxed me into applying for the job. I had to earn my F license first then interview for the position. I got the job. I eventually went on to get my E and D licenses. So there is truth to this.
7) I started playing soccer at 9 years old (that was the first year it was available). I played through 9th grade. I concentrated on lacrosse after that. My dad was my first coach. He never played soccer a day in his life. So the video nailed this insight as well.
8) Back in the day, we played in T-shirts when we were really young. As we got older, we played in polyester uniforms that needed to be returned at the end of the season. Today, the kids wear expensive advanced techno-fiber home and away uniforms with matching warm-up apparel. They keep these uniforms after the season like a trophy.
9) Practices - Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. No practices on Sundays. Games on Sundays. This is a bit of hyperbole. Games are on Sunday, but most younger age select teams practice 2 days per week. However, there are some very serious clubs that practice every day.

The Main Point

Sadly, there is a lot of truth in this humorous video. And my kids and I have lived it. Perhaps we perpetuate it.

Hat tip to Your Kid is Not Going Pro and Jen Singer of Momsaid.net

Youth Soccer: Coaching Licenses (Part 1, the F License)

My daughter's soccer coach just returned from Pittsburgh where he just completed his C license. This is a big accomplishment that takes a substantial amount of money, time and commitment. If you are serious about coaching soccer, you should consider taking some soccer coaching certification classes and obtaining a license. Start with the F license.

In this 6 part series I will give you information on all the soccer coaching certification opportunities.

F License

Step One: The first thing you need to do is contact your state soccer association. Google Soccer "soccer coaching license" + your State to find the website with the information. You can typically register for coaching certification courses through the state soccer website.

Start with your F license it is easy to get and will give you some exposure to the process. If you know that you are definitely going to get a higher license you should start with the E certification because the F license is not a prerequisite for the E class. If you are unsure about your certification goals start with the F license.

The F license is a 9 hour course that consists of 3 hours of class room instruction and 6 hours of instruction on the field (weather permitting) or a gym. Bring a pad of paper to take notes, a pencil or pen, soccer cleats, shin pads and a #5 ball. If you didn't pay online bring a checkbook to pay for the course which will cost about $35.

The course will cover basic soccer techniques and coaching philosophy. The course is perfect for coaches of very young players or older recreational players.

Everyone who participates in all 9 hours of instruction will receive an F license. There is no written test.

The Main Point

If you want to be a good soccer coach for young players 5 to 8 years old and recreational level players 9+ spend the $35 and 9 hours of your time to obtain your F license. If you are a bit reluctant to take this step because you are nervous about your soccer abilities, don't be.  I have to admit I was a little worried about the 6 hour on field training because I had not played soccer in over 20 years, but every thing was done at an easy to understand and do pace.