Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Youth Sports: 10 (More) Types of Sports Parents

Crazy Youth Sport Parents Series

One of my most popular posts was the called the The 10 types of Youth Sports Parents (Part 1). It was a descriptive list of parents that you'll likely find on the sidelines of every youth sports event. Here's 10 more.

Which one are you? Of course you can be more than one.

1) The Player Agent Dad - This dad only cares about the team if his kid is the captain and the team is winning in the most competitive league. Otherwise, he is working the phones to negotiate a possible trade to another team with a better situation. His prodigy will play on more little league teams before age 11 than Matt Stairs played on during his MLB career. Matt Stairs played on a record 13 MLB teams plus the Chunichi Dragons during his career. (Hat tip Anonymous Reader of Part 1)

2) The Supply Depot Mom - This is the mom with all the solutions. When Johnny, the star wide receiver, has to go number 2 right before the game and the only option is a port-a-potty without toilet paper, the coach calls on the Supply Depot Mom. He knows that there's a good chance she'll have a roll of toilet paper and hand sanitizer. This mom also has a full set of tools to fix equipment, ice packs, hair paint, eye black, an extra score book, pencils, extra sunglasses, a needle and thread, chalk to line the fields, etc. (Hat tip to The Trophy Mom)

3) The Roughrider Dad - This is the dad who arrives at the game with a saddle and cowboy boots. He will to ride the ref from wire to wire and go to the whip early and often if he has to.

4) The View Mom - This is the mom who gets to the field early to set up her chair right in the center of the field and saves the spots around her for other cackling moms. She's not there to see the game, however, she's there to lead a discussion. People joke that she's like Barbara Walters hosting The View, but they really aren't joking. During the game, the View Moms will answer the most pressing questions of the day like; Who's gonna win Dancing with the Stars?, Does Michelle Obama have any clothes with sleeves?, and Does the Dreamy Doctor Oz do house calls? At the end of the game, however, none of them can answer this simple question, "Mommy, MommyDid you see my goal?"

5) Grounds Crew Dad - This is the dad who is the first one to volunteer to prepare the fields for the game. You do not need to thank the Grounds Crew Dad, the opportunity to drive the John Deere is thanks enough.

6) The Spirit Wear SalesMom - Is this an overly enthusiastic booster or a profit-minded entrepreneur? I'm not sure, but this mom sets up shop in the back of her mini-van and has a full line of spirit wear including shirts, hats, sweatpants, mouse pads and team coffee mugs. And yes, she accepts AMEX.

Click Read More for 7 through 10

7) The Overbearing Athletic Mom - This mom has a type A personality, probably played a sport at the D1 collegiate level and is particularly loud during youth sports games. She controls every aspect of her young athlete's life with an iron fist. Every ounce of food ingested is monitored, every friend is hand selected, every coach scrutinized and manipulated. Unlike the Player Agent Dad, she's not looking to change teams, she is looking to change the team that her kid is on, change that will benefit her kid.

8) The Nerd Dad - This is the dad who can figure out just about anything except: 1) How he sired an athlete and 2) Why the Overbearing Athletic Mom forced him to marry her. The team with a Nerd Dad will likely have the best team website.

9) The Now You See Them Now You Don't ParentsThese parents go to the games, but keep to themselves and disappear with their kid as soon as the game is over. They never go to the after game parties and typically stay in a separate lower priced hotel during travel tournaments. The other parents couldn't tell you the names of the Now You See Them Now You Don't Parents.

10) The High Spirits Dad - This dad never comes to a little league game alone. Nope, this Dad is usually accompanied by Bloody Mary at morning games, 6 or 7 Buds for afternoon games and Johnny Walker or Jack for night games. Sometimes this parent will bring Old Grand Dad for laughs too. He's the parent in the stands at a little league baseball game who would yell loudly that the pitcher has nothing left. His son on the mound will feel dejected but this Dad was just talking about his pitcher of Margaritas. He drives a well equipped Honda Odyssey Mini-Bar which is perfect for pre and post game tailgating.

The Main Point

Sometimes it's the parents not the kids who provide the comedy, drama and action of youth sports.

There are many other Youth Sports Parent Types - Please add to the list in the comments.


  1. Thanks for the nod. I was the one with the tube of Cortaid when our 1st baseman broke out with a rash this summer and had the Tide pen when the coach dribbled food on his white team shirt. Supply Depot Moms unite!

  2. I would add the Perennially Unprepared Mom, who is always rushing into everything, frazzled, having to do the Walk of Shame to the Supply Depot Mom to ask her, again, if she has an extra sock in her kid's hockey bag.

  3. Devil's Youth Hockey there is one of those on every team. Thanks for sharing.

  4. Doormat Mom
    The mom who brings her own and other peopls kids to the games/tounaments/practices, pays for other peoples kids' pizza/supper/snacks after the game and gets yelled at/balmed if she can't deliver...Yes we live in a culture of BLAME and ENTITLEMENT.

    1. I hear you. Great addition because it is so true.

  5. The parent who thinks that his kid's team should have won every game and been undefeated, but the refs blew all the calls games. He is always screaming at the refs.




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